May 07, 2008

Self Sabotage?

We all know that if a drug user knows of an upcoming drug test they will either stop using for just enough time to clear their system or try to mask the drugs. It happens in sports with Steroids and HGH. But my real question is: Have you?

Kind of like brushing your teeth extra hard before a dental visit, I have noticed that I will do certain things prior to doing a sample, even though I know that the test is for MY benefit, not the doctor's.

I know I'm not supposed to have potassium. It's good for most of you reading this blog, but because of my kidneys I am supposed to shy away. Do I still have an occasional french fry*? Absolutely. Potato chip? Sure. Guacamole? Had some last night.

In addition to potassium I was on (and probably will be after the summer) meds to keep my cholesterol in check. It's one of those side-effect-but-not-completely-kidney-related issues. I could keep my cholesterol in check by cutting out foods that are on the high side, but I don't. I am better than I used to be, but no where near what would be best for me. For anyone, really. (On this one, we should all strive to be better about the cholesterol thing)

When I know that I'm going to make a stop by the dreaded Quest Diagnostics, I will intentionally skew my diet to be sure that I don't have something that will rock my system. No steak for me. No sneaking french fries. I have been known to put off a test because I wanted an extra day.

I understand that it is not a true random sample, but I still do it. I think it's exactly like the dentist thing. You don't want to seem like you don't ever floss, so you floss for a week trying to make up for it. It does not work, they always know you don't floss, but at least you've tried.

But I haven't tried. I have tried to stop eating junk. The reality though is that I can't eat junk right now because my desk is empty except for gum and raisins. I would love to tear through a bag of Cheetos, and would only regret is to a small degree later. I've tried to get into shape, but every time I get winded I give up way too easily. Part of it is that I worry about the repercussions later - if I over-do it now, I will not be able to function at my meeting tonight. Deep down I know that if I dropped a few pounds I would have MORE energy for meetings all the time, and for playing with Abby.

So why do I do it? I really don't know. I am mostly blogging about it in an effort to call myself out, but also to see if I'm alone in this.

Do you do this? Do you do other things to prepare for a doctors visit? (Preferably something that will help me out, too!)

*An occasional fry does not mean "order of fries." It's typically two or three stolen from another plate.


  1. I cheated on my gestational diabetes test when I was pregnant (both times) by carb loading for 3 or 4 days prior, and then eating a high protein, no carb breakfast the day of. If their test is that easy to fool, it's a lousy test, anyway, and they can suck on it, was my reasoning. And I really, really didn't want gestational diabetes.


  2. I floss before dental visits, and rarely at other times. If you want to talk about walking/running and such, I'd love to!