I have four half-written posts that are not ready to be finished today. Instead, I'll skim over a few topics and try to start some trouble....
1 - Tonight's scheduled debate should go on as scheduled. JM and BO were in town yesteraday, as they should have been, but there is no need for them to stick around and cloud the process that already has too many hands in the pot. I think that McCain is too nervous about having his previous comments coming back to hit him at this particular time. (Think: "I don't really understand budgets" from earlier this year.) Obama is right to have said that the president needs to know how to handle more than one thing at once, and if McCain can not take the time to answer questions to the American people then I really do not want him in charge come January.
2 - Abby's sleep routine was beautiful this week, until last night. I suppose that one night out of six is good for such a major change. We have made a conscious decision not to jump-and-bolt in the middle of the night when she wakes up and cries. The first night was hard - she woke up and screamed on three occasions. The second night it was twice. The third and fourth were two screaming fits. Then we got two nights of peaceful slumber for all three of us. Now she's back to cutting teeth, but I'm hopeful that we will have better nights ahead now that we have set up good habits.
3 - The National Book Festival is tomorrow on the National Mall. We were planning to go in the morning, but they're calling for rain. I think we're going in the afternoon so that we can see what it's like. They have a large section for children, teens and family books and exhibits. (If you're going, let me know and maybe we can meet up. If you weren't planning to go, but want to hang out, we would love company!)
4 - The draft posts are: Family Routines; Building Communities; Good Healthcare and a Single Doctor. They're all pretty in depth and I want to be sure that I flesh them out. Maybe I'll do that while watching TV this evening....
5 - I'm re-organizing my Itunes at home. I went through all of our CD's and converted the songs that we wanted to mp3's so that we don't have as much to store in the house. That was a fun project and I got to listen to a lot of music that I hadn't heard in a LONG time. Hello Vertical Horizon! Now that I've put an additional 600+ songs onto our computer, I've been spending time between the girls leaving for school and my leaving for work sorting out playlists. It's fun, but takes a long time since I'm looking through 4906 songs!
6 - How are you? What are you up to? If I was to read ONE blog to expand my reading today, where would you suggest I read?
September 26, 2008
September 24, 2008
September 22, 2008
My Weekend ROCKED!
My Facebook message says "Glad for an awesome weekend, sad it was too short." My sister commented to ask why, and I realized that in all of the hubub, I haven't updated my blog since Wednesday!
On Friday afternoon I got motivated at the office to clean out our storage unit in the basement. This "room" is very cluttered, and not with the right stuff. There are boxes of old books that have since been reprinted, old financial records that can't be tossed until January of next year, and old blueprints for churches. Okay, old blueprints, most of which are for churches, but some are for closed churches, camps or other properties that we no longer own. Fun. I brought one of the four boxes up and began sorting. This will be a several-weeks process, and I'm okay with that.
Because I got so much done here, I headed home and chipped away at some more of my attic cleaning project. We bought our house from the family, and still have not gotten to cleaning everything out of the attic. There is some pretty cool stuff up there, but also some trash and things that have been out of date for years. (i.e. a crib that, by todays standards, would implode immediately and burst into flames!) I got enough done to be happy and leave the rest for a cooler day, hopefully in a few weeks. Anyway.
On Saturday we did our normal morning routine:
Farmer's Market
Eat our Farmer's Market pastries
Wash diapers
Grocery Shop
We did a detour on the way to the grocery store to support our friend Charlene's fundraising efforts for her crazy three day journey in a couple of weeks. They were having a bake sale and a yard sale. We spent a few dollars on each of those, in addition to a check for just walking. Worth every penny.
On Saturday afternoon Anny had a friend over to do some scrapbooking. I don't really deal well with printed pictures. I view the internet as my scrapbook. With that in mind, I grabbed Abby and we took off for the Patuxent Wildlife Refuge. We had a nice hike, just the two of us. The weather would not have allowed me to take her shopping or anything like that, and I'm glad that we didn't. I stopped along the way several times and let her out of the stroller to play. I got a couple of nice pictures, and one amazing one. You'll have to wait until Wednesday for that one, sorry.
Saturday night we had dinner with my brother and his wife. They are so great with Abby, but struggled with the concept of an early dinner. I think they understand, and hope that if they don't that they will soon. :o)
Sunday night we went to dinner with friends. This is where the awesomeness stopped. Abby was just way too overspent to enjoy a quiet dinner, so Anny and I ate in shifts. That's never fun. By the time we got home, and not very late I must say, Abby skpped her bath and went straight to sleep. It's adorable and annoying, both at the same time.
What did you do this weekend?
On Friday afternoon I got motivated at the office to clean out our storage unit in the basement. This "room" is very cluttered, and not with the right stuff. There are boxes of old books that have since been reprinted, old financial records that can't be tossed until January of next year, and old blueprints for churches. Okay, old blueprints, most of which are for churches, but some are for closed churches, camps or other properties that we no longer own. Fun. I brought one of the four boxes up and began sorting. This will be a several-weeks process, and I'm okay with that.
Because I got so much done here, I headed home and chipped away at some more of my attic cleaning project. We bought our house from the family, and still have not gotten to cleaning everything out of the attic. There is some pretty cool stuff up there, but also some trash and things that have been out of date for years. (i.e. a crib that, by todays standards, would implode immediately and burst into flames!) I got enough done to be happy and leave the rest for a cooler day, hopefully in a few weeks. Anyway.
On Saturday we did our normal morning routine:
Farmer's Market
Eat our Farmer's Market pastries
Wash diapers
Grocery Shop
We did a detour on the way to the grocery store to support our friend Charlene's fundraising efforts for her crazy three day journey in a couple of weeks. They were having a bake sale and a yard sale. We spent a few dollars on each of those, in addition to a check for just walking. Worth every penny.
On Saturday afternoon Anny had a friend over to do some scrapbooking. I don't really deal well with printed pictures. I view the internet as my scrapbook. With that in mind, I grabbed Abby and we took off for the Patuxent Wildlife Refuge. We had a nice hike, just the two of us. The weather would not have allowed me to take her shopping or anything like that, and I'm glad that we didn't. I stopped along the way several times and let her out of the stroller to play. I got a couple of nice pictures, and one amazing one. You'll have to wait until Wednesday for that one, sorry.
Saturday night we had dinner with my brother and his wife. They are so great with Abby, but struggled with the concept of an early dinner. I think they understand, and hope that if they don't that they will soon. :o)
Sunday night we went to dinner with friends. This is where the awesomeness stopped. Abby was just way too overspent to enjoy a quiet dinner, so Anny and I ate in shifts. That's never fun. By the time we got home, and not very late I must say, Abby skpped her bath and went straight to sleep. It's adorable and annoying, both at the same time.
What did you do this weekend?
September 17, 2008
September 16, 2008
I Need Ideas People!
Okay, so you know that I'm on a mission to take and post 365 pictures of Abby on our Flickr site from her first birthday to her second. What you don't know is that I'm so creative sometimes that it's paralyzing. I get all of these thoughts and I need someone to keep me in check.
Anyway, shot/day number 100 is Friday! I need some inspiration people!
My question to you is this, what should my 100th shot be:
A collage of my 10 favorites?
A picture of Abby blocks that spell "one hundred" (or simply "100")?
A picture of her an I together, since really it takes two of us to make this happen?
Something completely different? (Would love to have a suggestion!)
Thanks for any advice or inspiration!
Anyway, shot/day number 100 is Friday! I need some inspiration people!
My question to you is this, what should my 100th shot be:
A collage of my 10 favorites?
A picture of Abby blocks that spell "one hundred" (or simply "100")?
A picture of her an I together, since really it takes two of us to make this happen?
Something completely different? (Would love to have a suggestion!)
Thanks for any advice or inspiration!
September 10, 2008
A Cause Worth Supporting
Remember when I asked you how you choose where to give money? Well, if you don't have any ideas for how to spend that money marked "charity" in your budget, let me point you in the direction of this years Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3-Day and my crazy friend Charlene.
But first, why I will give my money to SGKomen. I'm confident that most of you have been touched by cancer, either yourself or someone you love. This is true for me and my family as well. My grandmother died in the spring of 1999 of various forms of cancer, but it began with breast cancer. I remember how hard it was for her every day.
My friend Charlene works in an Oncology office and works every day with patients in all stages of dealing with cancer. I am not sure if even she knows this, but my Grandma Pat was a patient at the office that Charlene works at. They do amazing things, but cancer is hard to beat, and every dollar toward the cause is valued.
This year Charlene is putting herself even more into their lives by walking 60 miles (!!!!) over the course of three days in order to raise money for the Susan G Komen fund.
If you have a moment and a few dollars to spare, please visit her website HERE to donate. (You will notice that she is a red head, and us "gingers" always look out for one another!) Her goal is lofty, but I know she will reach it. The walk is the first weekend in October, and you can bet that I will follow up with a post about how great she has done! Since I'm a bad friend and have not replied to her numerous emails over the last two months, I'm heading over there now with my debit card in hand. I hope you will too.
But first, why I will give my money to SGKomen. I'm confident that most of you have been touched by cancer, either yourself or someone you love. This is true for me and my family as well. My grandmother died in the spring of 1999 of various forms of cancer, but it began with breast cancer. I remember how hard it was for her every day.
My friend Charlene works in an Oncology office and works every day with patients in all stages of dealing with cancer. I am not sure if even she knows this, but my Grandma Pat was a patient at the office that Charlene works at. They do amazing things, but cancer is hard to beat, and every dollar toward the cause is valued.
This year Charlene is putting herself even more into their lives by walking 60 miles (!!!!) over the course of three days in order to raise money for the Susan G Komen fund.
If you have a moment and a few dollars to spare, please visit her website HERE to donate. (You will notice that she is a red head, and us "gingers" always look out for one another!) Her goal is lofty, but I know she will reach it. The walk is the first weekend in October, and you can bet that I will follow up with a post about how great she has done! Since I'm a bad friend and have not replied to her numerous emails over the last two months, I'm heading over there now with my debit card in hand. I hope you will too.
September 08, 2008
Question from a Reader: The Cost of a Child
Okay, really I got a question from a friend after reading THIS post a while back. Technically it was a question from a friend, but since it relates to the blog, and Amy does this from time to time, I'm responding to my first...
Question from a Reader!
I actually have a question for you. I don't normally read your other blog but I was having trouble motivating myself to work this morning and so followed more links than I should have. Anyway, in your most recent entry you said something that I've now heard about 3 times in as many weeks--that having a child was more expensive than you'd expected. Can you quantify this at all? I know it is a personal question and you can feel free to ignore it, but we've been doing some of the "when will we be able to afford to have a child" math recently and I'm beginning to fear that our math may bear little resemblance to reality.
In an effort to be transparent, I neglected this email for over three months before responding. I can be a bad friend without much effort, it turns out.
Here goes:
The answer to "how expensive is it to have a child" is such a hard one to answer. There are way too many things to factor in: bottle feeding or breastfeeding? stay-at-home parent or day care? Are your parents/in-laws going to spoil you or do you have to pretty much figure things out on your own, financially?
The reality is that the costs begin to pile up from the moment you say "let's have a kid!"
Our journey began on March 20, 2003. (yes, do the math and you'll see that Abby is a very special girl and her parents love her enough to fight for her for years) That's the weekend that we were visiting family and they told us that they were expecting! Great news. Flying home two days later made for some interesting conversation, naturally. We shared excitement for them, and conversation turned to our future. It was decided that we would begin "trying" shortly thereafter.
Only we experienced some unforseen health issues and ended up going through several (years of) intentional, professional infertility services. (if you're local and have a need, we highly recommend the facility we used. Drop me a note and I'll give that to you.) Bottom line for us, expense wise: $5,000-$7,000.
Now that you've got the smudge/peanut/bean inside of you, there are doctor appointments, which can be few if everything goes perfectly, or plentiful if there is some sort of concern. We had 15 or so visits, at $35 per shot we paid a bit. Bottom line, expense wise: $100-$500
The cost of the actual birth will vary based on what sort of services you want/need. I can't even begin to put a price on this because there are WAY too many variables.
Okay, that covers all of the stuff from "let's have a kid!" to "congratulations!" but costs do not stop then, obviously.
Some other categories:
Food: if you breastfeed your child the milk is free! Score one in the win column. If you're going to work, though, you will need a pump and bottles. Believe it or not, you can rent a breast pump! Please, if this option is available at your hospital and you only plan to breastfeed for a year, do it! It costs about the same as buying a middle-of-the-road pump, but it's a better pump and will not sit in your house for the rest of your life. (Guess this is different if you plan on having more than one) A pump can range from about $100 to $500.
Formula: If you choose formula it is more expensive on a recurring basis. I think we used about one big can of powder every three weeks for a year, when they will switch to regular, whole milk. Each can was $25, but you can easily find coupons. If you don't notice them show up before your delivery date, go onto the formula providers website and sign up for them. Coupons are generally $4-5 each, which is a fortune in the long run! Formula for a year: $350
Diapers: Here is another big dilemna. Cloth diapers are costly to get going, but save you money in the long run. Disposables require less work (washing machine every other day versus taking the trash out once a week) but are more costly as you go along. We switched to cloth partly for the money reasons, but mostly for the good of the environment. Oh yeah, and they're easy. Based purely on my preference for cloth, I will only quote you that cost: about $300 total for diapers that will last from day 1 until potty training. Tack on another $100 spread out for your water and soap bringing it to a whopping: $400.
Clothes: Purely based on how much you buy. Realistically your child does not know what they are wearing for a very long time. It is easiest for friends and family to fill in this portion of your budget, because shopping for baby clothes is REALLY fun! Try to ask family or really close friends (folks you can be blunt and honest with) to buy clothes for the later stages, because a lot of acquaintances are going to buy you 0-3 month clothes. Those are only good for like two months! We have spent a small bit of money on clothes because we have a large extended family that likes to buy clothes. I can not put a price on this one, sorry.
Equipment*: There are some essential things for baby (i.e. some place to sleep) and things that you can buy, but are not necessary to development (floor mat). Cribs are pricey, and you can not buy these used. Don't do it. High chairs vary based on how nice you want to get. We bought one of these used for $50 on a whim, but in retrospect I would probably have gone with more of a booster seat, which will last longer. Car seats vary in price, too. You also have too many choices in this area - convertable, carry-able and bassinet style are all available. We bought two and have spent (or been gifted) with about $250 in car seats, but we'll be set for a long while. You can only buy car seats used if they have not expired. On equipment, of which there is more than I can account for, we have spent between $1,000 and $2000.
Ahh the pricey one: Childcare. If a parent is going to stay home that has been working it will not "cost" you anything in the sense that you will be "saving" money, but really you are losing out on one income. This is not feasible in our house. While neither of us makes a ton of money, both salaries are relied upon for essential things like food and shelter. If a parent stays home the real cost is: Whatever that parent makes in the job market.
If you go with the daycare option there is good news and bad news. The good news is that after the age of 2 the price goes down. Really, though, that was just to soften the blow of this large number. Now, we realize that there are different options that fit different price ranges. You can find a local family-run operation, or a more institutional version, just be sure that they are licensed and have all of the training needed (CPR and such) and that you are comfortable. We chose to put Abby into a program run by the school system. We know that they have background checks for all of their staff, that they are licensed and that they have educational program planned for the children every day. (I also realize that at 3 months Abby did not grasp colors and shapes, but they were sure being taught!) For us, the childcare cost is $13,500/year. (holy crap that hurt to actually put in writing.)
I'm not going to total that up, because I know that the total is more than I have made in two years, so I dont' want to cry.
Please know that those numbers are both round and generic. You can find ways to save on some of these things, or ways to spend a lot more on things. For example, we have friends who are expecting in the spring and we are passing down a lot of equipment that is short term, like a bouncy seat, so that they can save some cash on that stuff. There are lists online everywhere that tell you what things you can buy used and what things you should always buy new.
Having a child is not all about cash, of course, but I'm glad to know that people can think practically about such an emotional process. We love being parents and wouldn't trade it for any amount of money. Which is good, since we can't go back now!
(Other parents out there - please let me know if there is something I missed, or feel free to blog about this on your blog and let me know you did so that I can link over to you. Consider it a really twisted Meme!)
*I think that the next parenting post I tackle will be about products that are available and we have bought that in retrospect were a bunch of money wasted...
Question from a Reader!
I actually have a question for you. I don't normally read your other blog but I was having trouble motivating myself to work this morning and so followed more links than I should have. Anyway, in your most recent entry you said something that I've now heard about 3 times in as many weeks--that having a child was more expensive than you'd expected. Can you quantify this at all? I know it is a personal question and you can feel free to ignore it, but we've been doing some of the "when will we be able to afford to have a child" math recently and I'm beginning to fear that our math may bear little resemblance to reality.
In an effort to be transparent, I neglected this email for over three months before responding. I can be a bad friend without much effort, it turns out.
Here goes:
The answer to "how expensive is it to have a child" is such a hard one to answer. There are way too many things to factor in: bottle feeding or breastfeeding? stay-at-home parent or day care? Are your parents/in-laws going to spoil you or do you have to pretty much figure things out on your own, financially?
The reality is that the costs begin to pile up from the moment you say "let's have a kid!"
Our journey began on March 20, 2003. (yes, do the math and you'll see that Abby is a very special girl and her parents love her enough to fight for her for years) That's the weekend that we were visiting family and they told us that they were expecting! Great news. Flying home two days later made for some interesting conversation, naturally. We shared excitement for them, and conversation turned to our future. It was decided that we would begin "trying" shortly thereafter.
Only we experienced some unforseen health issues and ended up going through several (years of) intentional, professional infertility services. (if you're local and have a need, we highly recommend the facility we used. Drop me a note and I'll give that to you.) Bottom line for us, expense wise: $5,000-$7,000.
Now that you've got the smudge/peanut/bean inside of you, there are doctor appointments, which can be few if everything goes perfectly, or plentiful if there is some sort of concern. We had 15 or so visits, at $35 per shot we paid a bit. Bottom line, expense wise: $100-$500
The cost of the actual birth will vary based on what sort of services you want/need. I can't even begin to put a price on this because there are WAY too many variables.
Okay, that covers all of the stuff from "let's have a kid!" to "congratulations!" but costs do not stop then, obviously.
Some other categories:
Food: if you breastfeed your child the milk is free! Score one in the win column. If you're going to work, though, you will need a pump and bottles. Believe it or not, you can rent a breast pump! Please, if this option is available at your hospital and you only plan to breastfeed for a year, do it! It costs about the same as buying a middle-of-the-road pump, but it's a better pump and will not sit in your house for the rest of your life. (Guess this is different if you plan on having more than one) A pump can range from about $100 to $500.
Formula: If you choose formula it is more expensive on a recurring basis. I think we used about one big can of powder every three weeks for a year, when they will switch to regular, whole milk. Each can was $25, but you can easily find coupons. If you don't notice them show up before your delivery date, go onto the formula providers website and sign up for them. Coupons are generally $4-5 each, which is a fortune in the long run! Formula for a year: $350
Diapers: Here is another big dilemna. Cloth diapers are costly to get going, but save you money in the long run. Disposables require less work (washing machine every other day versus taking the trash out once a week) but are more costly as you go along. We switched to cloth partly for the money reasons, but mostly for the good of the environment. Oh yeah, and they're easy. Based purely on my preference for cloth, I will only quote you that cost: about $300 total for diapers that will last from day 1 until potty training. Tack on another $100 spread out for your water and soap bringing it to a whopping: $400.
Clothes: Purely based on how much you buy. Realistically your child does not know what they are wearing for a very long time. It is easiest for friends and family to fill in this portion of your budget, because shopping for baby clothes is REALLY fun! Try to ask family or really close friends (folks you can be blunt and honest with) to buy clothes for the later stages, because a lot of acquaintances are going to buy you 0-3 month clothes. Those are only good for like two months! We have spent a small bit of money on clothes because we have a large extended family that likes to buy clothes. I can not put a price on this one, sorry.
Equipment*: There are some essential things for baby (i.e. some place to sleep) and things that you can buy, but are not necessary to development (floor mat). Cribs are pricey, and you can not buy these used. Don't do it. High chairs vary based on how nice you want to get. We bought one of these used for $50 on a whim, but in retrospect I would probably have gone with more of a booster seat, which will last longer. Car seats vary in price, too. You also have too many choices in this area - convertable, carry-able and bassinet style are all available. We bought two and have spent (or been gifted) with about $250 in car seats, but we'll be set for a long while. You can only buy car seats used if they have not expired. On equipment, of which there is more than I can account for, we have spent between $1,000 and $2000.
Ahh the pricey one: Childcare. If a parent is going to stay home that has been working it will not "cost" you anything in the sense that you will be "saving" money, but really you are losing out on one income. This is not feasible in our house. While neither of us makes a ton of money, both salaries are relied upon for essential things like food and shelter. If a parent stays home the real cost is: Whatever that parent makes in the job market.
If you go with the daycare option there is good news and bad news. The good news is that after the age of 2 the price goes down. Really, though, that was just to soften the blow of this large number. Now, we realize that there are different options that fit different price ranges. You can find a local family-run operation, or a more institutional version, just be sure that they are licensed and have all of the training needed (CPR and such) and that you are comfortable. We chose to put Abby into a program run by the school system. We know that they have background checks for all of their staff, that they are licensed and that they have educational program planned for the children every day. (I also realize that at 3 months Abby did not grasp colors and shapes, but they were sure being taught!) For us, the childcare cost is $13,500/year. (holy crap that hurt to actually put in writing.)
I'm not going to total that up, because I know that the total is more than I have made in two years, so I dont' want to cry.
Please know that those numbers are both round and generic. You can find ways to save on some of these things, or ways to spend a lot more on things. For example, we have friends who are expecting in the spring and we are passing down a lot of equipment that is short term, like a bouncy seat, so that they can save some cash on that stuff. There are lists online everywhere that tell you what things you can buy used and what things you should always buy new.
Having a child is not all about cash, of course, but I'm glad to know that people can think practically about such an emotional process. We love being parents and wouldn't trade it for any amount of money. Which is good, since we can't go back now!
(Other parents out there - please let me know if there is something I missed, or feel free to blog about this on your blog and let me know you did so that I can link over to you. Consider it a really twisted Meme!)
*I think that the next parenting post I tackle will be about products that are available and we have bought that in retrospect were a bunch of money wasted...
September 05, 2008
Ready for November
Is there anything that can be said between now and Election Day that will change who you vote for in the Presidential Election? Vote in the poll on the right and comment below.
It seems to me that there is so much riding on this one that folks have already made up their mind, and I'm okay with that. I have. We need change. Our country needs something new, fresh and exciting. Our finances are crap, and that might have something to do with morale. Morale might have something to do with this little war that "we" have picked with two countries.
But regardless of how you're voting, is there anything that can be said at this point to change your mind? (Short of a scandal of donkey-rape proportions)
(Oh great, with "donkey-rape" in my post I'm sure my "G" rating is going to go WAY up!!)
It seems to me that there is so much riding on this one that folks have already made up their mind, and I'm okay with that. I have. We need change. Our country needs something new, fresh and exciting. Our finances are crap, and that might have something to do with morale. Morale might have something to do with this little war that "we" have picked with two countries.
But regardless of how you're voting, is there anything that can be said at this point to change your mind? (Short of a scandal of donkey-rape proportions)
(Oh great, with "donkey-rape" in my post I'm sure my "G" rating is going to go WAY up!!)
September 03, 2008
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