June 17, 2008

Father's Get the Shaft

We must start by looking back to May 8-11, 2008 before we can delve into the happenings of this weekend. What happened in May but not June? Mother's Day. It felt like everywhere we went we heard a grateful "Have a Happy Mother's Day" aimed in our direction. This happened at the Grocery Store (several times), the local (plant) nursery, even at restaurants.

I thought about how cool it was that Anny was getting this special attention and recognition for all that she has done over the last year, and even before that. She is so shy about that stuff that I think it's good for her once in a while to be showered with attention. Maybe that's because I'm an extrovert, though....

Anyway, when last week rolled around I was excited to be heralded in the same manner! Clear the streets, a father is making his way into your presence!

We went to the farmers market. Nothing.
We went to the same grocery store and saw the same clerk. Nothing.
We went everywhere and I got nothing.

Okay, that's not true. On Father's Day proper we went to TGI Friday's with the family. I did get some FD attention from our waitress. I would like to point out that it was mostly due to the fact that Ms Adorable was sitting there shamelessly making eyes at her, but whatever.

What's the deal with this? Did you notice this to be true in your ventures out as well, or is it just that people don't like to give me accolaides?


  1. Well I don't know what to tell you , we went out for dinner on mother's day and his mom and I both got a t-shirt and two free cards for a dish next time we go back and my hubby got me a card and couple little things and a card from the baby. That's it though. Father's day however his mom gave him a present and then we went to see his dad and they gave him a card and a present and I gave him his cards from me and the baby and a present but his parents didn't bother with me on mother's day and I was the one that carried him and pushed him out with nothing for pain and I even let his mom be in the room when her son had his first baby! It kinda bothered me that they did all this stuff for him,yes it was his first one but it's me that is with the baby all the time my husband visits for a couple hours after work then the baby is in bed. and I didn't even get a card from them plus they know I have no family so it's not like they thought well my parents would do stuff for me ,they know I don't have anyone. So I think it just depends on the people I guess and if it's going to be your lucky day and people are going to pay attention to you.

  2. Honestly, I think people hesitate to assume that a guy is a kid's father because they don't want to hear awkward explanations if you're not her dad. It's much easier to spot a mother and her child than it is to spot a father and his child. I think it's an evolution/culture thing, and not at all a reflection on you, your value as a parent, or your fathering.

    I get a TON more comments (both good and bad - comments on how cute the kids are, and comments on what I should be doing differently) when I'm out with the kids than BJ does. People will talk to them and say stuff about their "Mommy," but I rarely hear people say anything about "your daddy" to my kids. I think it's funny, too, because they look more like him than me.

    Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com

  3. Another weird cultural thing I see is that mothers are pampered on Mother's Day. Looking at ads, on Mother's Day, I'm supposed to get a "day off," a spa trip, a special present just for me, etc.

    But on Father's Day, it's much more about spending family time together and maybe grilling out.

    Perhaps this indicates a biased perception that all moms are the "primary parents" (and usually the at-home parent) while all dads are workaholics who'd never otherwise see their kids?