Thanks to reading a friends Lenten Blog for her church I participated in an online study today that measures how religious Christians are in six different dimensions, described as follows:
The authors of the Inclusive Christian Scale have found over the course of previous research studies that religiosity could be thought of in terms of the following six dimensions: evangelical, Christian conservative, activist, golden rule, community involvment, and mystic.
The Evangelical dimension refers to a particular focus on prayer, evangelism or outreach, and faith as a source of strength.
The Christian Conservative dimension reflects a particular focus on avoiding acts seen as sinful, on a literal interpretation of the Bible, and on a transforming spiritual experience.
The Activist dimension refers to a focus on changing unjust structures in the world as a part of one’s practice of faith.
The Golden Rule dimension refers to a particular focus on attempting to live so that one treats others as one would wish to be treated. This dimension highlights a concern about many of the same issues found on the Activist dimension, but the focus is more on individuals and less on social structures.
The Community Involvment dimension underlines a particular focus on active participation in the church as a fellowship of faith.
The Mystic dimension reflects a particular focus on an intimate, pervasive relationship/connection to God.
My Scores:
EVANGELICAL: 83 %
CHRISTIAN CONSERVATIVE: 33 %
ACTIVIST: 80 %
GOLDEN RULE: 89 %
COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT: 88 %
MYSTIC: 75 %
Not at all surprised to see Christian Conservative lags so far behind the rest. I think that my Mystic dimension would have been higher five years ago.
Wanna take it? Do it, and let me know what you come back with!
February 27, 2008
February 20, 2008
What You Say You Said
Trip to St Louis was incredibly great. Rightly timed time-away from home and downright relaxing time with Sarahlynn, Paul and the girls. Abby did not learn to crawl, but did pick up clapping! I even got to go to a Blues (pro hockey) game! Really, though, the best part was spending quality time with the family.
I planned to write two posts in the last few days, one about the trip and one to celebrate my two year blogoversary, which was Valentines Day. I have decided not to delve into either far enough for a full post. Instead I am looking to see if I'm the only one dealing with craziness.
I got an email from one of my supervisors: "Rob, I need your help writing this check request."
Let's break that down:
Rob - that's me
I need your help - we need to work together to get this done
writing this check request - with this mundane task
It seems that what she meant was: "Rob. Write a check request for this."
When I was ready to leave for the day, I asked what kind of help she needed for the (again, mundane) check request. An account number to charge it to? An address? A pen? She told me that I was to have written it on my own, and we had conversation about our roles in this relationship. She is the boss, I am the worker bee. Boss says "do this" and should expect it done. I think we're on the same page now.
At home the situation is similar, but different: "Rob, would you vacuum this weekend?"
Again, a breakdown:
Rob - That's me! People know my name!
would you - Please do this
vacuum - Get out the stupid machine, and do the deed
this weekend - 72 hours that begins roughly Friday at 5 pm and ends Sunday at bedtime
? - Implied option - yes or no.
What Anny means is: "Rob, vacuum this morning please."
Anny says that she does not want to be a nag. I keep telling her that she is not nagging, she is being direct. There is a difference to me.
Do you deal with issues like this? Am I not being perceptive enough, or should people be direct in what they are asking for?
I planned to write two posts in the last few days, one about the trip and one to celebrate my two year blogoversary, which was Valentines Day. I have decided not to delve into either far enough for a full post. Instead I am looking to see if I'm the only one dealing with craziness.
I got an email from one of my supervisors: "Rob, I need your help writing this check request."
Let's break that down:
Rob - that's me
I need your help - we need to work together to get this done
writing this check request - with this mundane task
It seems that what she meant was: "Rob. Write a check request for this."
When I was ready to leave for the day, I asked what kind of help she needed for the (again, mundane) check request. An account number to charge it to? An address? A pen? She told me that I was to have written it on my own, and we had conversation about our roles in this relationship. She is the boss, I am the worker bee. Boss says "do this" and should expect it done. I think we're on the same page now.
At home the situation is similar, but different: "Rob, would you vacuum this weekend?"
Again, a breakdown:
Rob - That's me! People know my name!
would you - Please do this
vacuum - Get out the stupid machine, and do the deed
this weekend - 72 hours that begins roughly Friday at 5 pm and ends Sunday at bedtime
? - Implied option - yes or no.
What Anny means is: "Rob, vacuum this morning please."
Anny says that she does not want to be a nag. I keep telling her that she is not nagging, she is being direct. There is a difference to me.
Do you deal with issues like this? Am I not being perceptive enough, or should people be direct in what they are asking for?
February 12, 2008
I'm Leavin, on a Jet Plane
Okay - we're not flying out until Friday, but I know that Thursday is a special day for my blog and I won't post properly about the upcoming weekend preview. Knowing where we are going, though, I am sure that I will post on my blog over the weekend.
Where-o-where might the Monroe's be traveling? Saint Louis, MO, of course! For the first time EVER Anny has conceded to taking a day off of school for fun purposes! If Anny can take a day off, I can certainly match that! We decided to head out of town on Friday morning rather than wait until the evening, which would mean really only one fun day out of town. Late Friday arrival and leaving Sunday after church is not nearly as fun as a full Friday and Saturday, with an afternoon return on Sunday.
When I was looking at a calendar, ready to press "buy now" on Southwest to confirm our reservations, I noticed a pretty long word on my calendar. H-O-L-I-D-A-Y. The Presidents are doing us a favor this year, we're making an even longer weekend out of it!
Another upside for me, not as up for Anny, is that we truly can make Friday into a full day. Yes, we ARE leaving at 7:00 am, thankyouverymuch. I'm so much of a morning person that I didn't flinch. Anny does not mind too much, but will admit that it will be hard to get to sleep early on Thursday. A big thanks in advance to Jason for getting up early to take us to the airport.
I'm excited to spend time just hanging out with the St Louis part of the family. Nothing scheduled - no baptisms or road trips - except hanging out.
On a completely different note - Abby is officially 8 months old today! I'm going to go wake her up to celebrate. (It's election day, so Anny and Abby have the day off.) WAIT - She is waking up on her own......Time to change a diaper and hug a baby!
Where-o-where might the Monroe's be traveling? Saint Louis, MO, of course! For the first time EVER Anny has conceded to taking a day off of school for fun purposes! If Anny can take a day off, I can certainly match that! We decided to head out of town on Friday morning rather than wait until the evening, which would mean really only one fun day out of town. Late Friday arrival and leaving Sunday after church is not nearly as fun as a full Friday and Saturday, with an afternoon return on Sunday.
When I was looking at a calendar, ready to press "buy now" on Southwest to confirm our reservations, I noticed a pretty long word on my calendar. H-O-L-I-D-A-Y. The Presidents are doing us a favor this year, we're making an even longer weekend out of it!
Another upside for me, not as up for Anny, is that we truly can make Friday into a full day. Yes, we ARE leaving at 7:00 am, thankyouverymuch. I'm so much of a morning person that I didn't flinch. Anny does not mind too much, but will admit that it will be hard to get to sleep early on Thursday. A big thanks in advance to Jason for getting up early to take us to the airport.
I'm excited to spend time just hanging out with the St Louis part of the family. Nothing scheduled - no baptisms or road trips - except hanging out.
On a completely different note - Abby is officially 8 months old today! I'm going to go wake her up to celebrate. (It's election day, so Anny and Abby have the day off.) WAIT - She is waking up on her own......Time to change a diaper and hug a baby!
February 06, 2008
Observations from the Last Few Days
Some Observations:
On the Abby Front:
A fat lip on an infant is both funny and cringeworthy at the same time. Sorry, no pictures. Can't have social services after me.
She is scooting toward her toy basket, but only when she can touch it already. She's gotten up on her hands and knees, but gets confused pretty quickly at that point. Hopefully a weekend with Ada will get her moving.
On the Sports Front:
I apreciated hearing Plaxico Burress after the SuperBowl. His comment was "This is the greatest feeling in professional sports." So often we hear that something in sports is the greatest thing in LIFE, and I just can't believe that.
Who really cares who the next Redskins coach will be? Aparently a lot of people. What I can tel you is that he, whichever he it is, will come in and change the system, personnel and feel of the team. Oh yeah, and it's not your decision, it's the decision of the guy that owns the team. He does not come to your office and tell you who to hire.
On the Political Front:
There are a lot of people in Virginia that don't know how to listen. Seems that they got almost 1,000 calls yesterday furious about closed polling stations. Yeah, Super Tuesday was not in your state. That's NEXT Tuesday, just like they keep telling you in the paper, radio and TV.
Because the folks in VA, MD and DC want to feel important they have dubbed next Tuesday, our TV Stations have dubbed it Chesapeake Tuesday. Get over it. It's just another Primary Tuesday. It started yesterday and I'm already annoyed with it.
On the Music Front:
When someone posts a new Celebrity Playlist on iTunes, check it out. Thanks to one list I have discovered Brett Dennen and what is now one of my top 10 songs to listen to. (Oh yeah, check him out based on my recommendation too!)
On the Abby Front:
A fat lip on an infant is both funny and cringeworthy at the same time. Sorry, no pictures. Can't have social services after me.
She is scooting toward her toy basket, but only when she can touch it already. She's gotten up on her hands and knees, but gets confused pretty quickly at that point. Hopefully a weekend with Ada will get her moving.
On the Sports Front:
I apreciated hearing Plaxico Burress after the SuperBowl. His comment was "This is the greatest feeling in professional sports." So often we hear that something in sports is the greatest thing in LIFE, and I just can't believe that.
Who really cares who the next Redskins coach will be? Aparently a lot of people. What I can tel you is that he, whichever he it is, will come in and change the system, personnel and feel of the team. Oh yeah, and it's not your decision, it's the decision of the guy that owns the team. He does not come to your office and tell you who to hire.
On the Political Front:
There are a lot of people in Virginia that don't know how to listen. Seems that they got almost 1,000 calls yesterday furious about closed polling stations. Yeah, Super Tuesday was not in your state. That's NEXT Tuesday, just like they keep telling you in the paper, radio and TV.
Because the folks in VA, MD and DC want to feel important they have dubbed next Tuesday, our TV Stations have dubbed it Chesapeake Tuesday. Get over it. It's just another Primary Tuesday. It started yesterday and I'm already annoyed with it.
On the Music Front:
When someone posts a new Celebrity Playlist on iTunes, check it out. Thanks to one list I have discovered Brett Dennen and what is now one of my top 10 songs to listen to. (Oh yeah, check him out based on my recommendation too!)
February 02, 2008
I Need Hair Help
Okay - I'm trying once again to grow my hair out. Here's my problem: I don't know what the end product should look like! I'm completely and totally open to ideas, and welcome them. The way I see it, I have two weeks before I have to either cut it back to "normal" or decide on a style-goal.
Your job is to help me figure this out. I'm open to having to primp in the morning.
Two options: paste a link in the comments below to a picture of a style you think might work; OR, take the picture below and play with it, then email it to me.
Your job is to help me figure this out. I'm open to having to primp in the morning.
Two options: paste a link in the comments below to a picture of a style you think might work; OR, take the picture below and play with it, then email it to me.
February 01, 2008
A Short but Well Lived Life
Yesterday I had an experience that I hope to never be a part of again. On Sunday our pastor told us about a friend of her 10 year old son. He went into to hospital on Friday for a seemingly minor issue, was diagnosed with lukemia on Saturday, had a stroke and was dead on Sunday morning. There was no way to have seen it in advance, so there were not opportunities for family or friends to say goodbye.
She proceeded to tell us that the family did not have a church or pastor. She knew that she could volunteer our space, which she did, and we would welcome this grieving family with open arms, which we did. I made sure that Amy knew thta I could be at church for as much time as needed. When the family told her that they wanted to show a movie (slideshow) that was made about his life, Amy dropped me an email. Luckily my office is flexible enough that I can volunteer for things like this when they are important.
Our church is not big. On Sunday's we have seating set up for ~250. (We don't have pews, we have movable chairs. Very good idea when you only have one gathering place in your building.) The staff moved more chairs into the sanctuary to bump up seating to 325 on the floor. Chairs were added to the choir loft, too. As we began to see the number of people coming to the service, we began to add seating to our narthex, which we counted at 75 sitting. People were literally standing in the aisles.
This boy was only ten years old, but had lived his entire life in one place. His community knew him. His private school knew him and a ton of teachers came out. His fathers office has representatives, too. When all was said and done, we counted at least 450 people in attendance for the service.
He was ten. His family had only lived in Maryland for 10 years, but their friends, co-workers and community were all present. It was an incredible experience. But I don't want to do it again.
I could not watch the slideshow. Too many pictures are identical to ones that I have just taken of Abby. First food. Sitting for the first time. There weren't even graduation pictures. He didn't make it that far.
I hugged Abby a little tighter yesterday. I will hug her even tighter today.
I pray that none of us - no parent ever - has to have this experience.
She proceeded to tell us that the family did not have a church or pastor. She knew that she could volunteer our space, which she did, and we would welcome this grieving family with open arms, which we did. I made sure that Amy knew thta I could be at church for as much time as needed. When the family told her that they wanted to show a movie (slideshow) that was made about his life, Amy dropped me an email. Luckily my office is flexible enough that I can volunteer for things like this when they are important.
Our church is not big. On Sunday's we have seating set up for ~250. (We don't have pews, we have movable chairs. Very good idea when you only have one gathering place in your building.) The staff moved more chairs into the sanctuary to bump up seating to 325 on the floor. Chairs were added to the choir loft, too. As we began to see the number of people coming to the service, we began to add seating to our narthex, which we counted at 75 sitting. People were literally standing in the aisles.
This boy was only ten years old, but had lived his entire life in one place. His community knew him. His private school knew him and a ton of teachers came out. His fathers office has representatives, too. When all was said and done, we counted at least 450 people in attendance for the service.
He was ten. His family had only lived in Maryland for 10 years, but their friends, co-workers and community were all present. It was an incredible experience. But I don't want to do it again.
I could not watch the slideshow. Too many pictures are identical to ones that I have just taken of Abby. First food. Sitting for the first time. There weren't even graduation pictures. He didn't make it that far.
I hugged Abby a little tighter yesterday. I will hug her even tighter today.
I pray that none of us - no parent ever - has to have this experience.
January 25, 2008
Four Things
Taken from Natalie at Growing A Critter, and since I have not done one of these in a while, I'll give it a go!
A) FOUR PLACES I GO OVER AND OVER: church, chinese take out for the office, Safeway and Chipotle
B) FOUR PEOPLE WHO E-MAIL ME (regularly): Amy, Nadia, Natalie, and Katrina
C) FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS: white pizza with pepperoni, cream cheese chicken, good tuna fish salad on farmers market sourdough, and
D) FOUR PLACES I’D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW: in Rehobeth hanging out with Gramps; in Saint Louis; at a hockey game with Pam, Jason and Abby; or anywhere Anny and Abby are
E) FOUR PEOPLE I THINK WILL RESPOND (when I post this to the blog): SarahKM, Chere, Sarahlynn, Steph
F) FOUR MOVIES I WOULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AND OVER: The Princess Bride, Drumline, Keeping the Faith and The Goonies.
Feel free to give it a go on your blog!
A) FOUR PLACES I GO OVER AND OVER: church, chinese take out for the office, Safeway and Chipotle
B) FOUR PEOPLE WHO E-MAIL ME (regularly): Amy, Nadia, Natalie, and Katrina
C) FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS: white pizza with pepperoni, cream cheese chicken, good tuna fish salad on farmers market sourdough, and
D) FOUR PLACES I’D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW: in Rehobeth hanging out with Gramps; in Saint Louis; at a hockey game with Pam, Jason and Abby; or anywhere Anny and Abby are
E) FOUR PEOPLE I THINK WILL RESPOND (when I post this to the blog): SarahKM, Chere, Sarahlynn, Steph
F) FOUR MOVIES I WOULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AND OVER: The Princess Bride, Drumline, Keeping the Faith and The Goonies.
Feel free to give it a go on your blog!
January 23, 2008
Who do YOU Turn To?
Okay - at this point it is inevitable to avoid the political world. It's been that way in our area for - well for years. New York may be the city that never sleeps, but we're the ones that hear about all of the crud on Capitol Hill and it does not matter what state folks represent. This time of this year is especially permeating.
All of our local news stations are hitting us with "We're Your Source for the Latest on the Campaign Trail." They don't mean their parent, they mean their own little sites. I'm confident that Fox5DC is not in touch with the rest of the country. Heck, they are fairly out of it when it comes to local stuff. (But, they do have a reporter named Wisdom. What a cool name!)
I know that Yahoo has coverage here.
I know that CNN is covering here.
NPR is covering here, though I have not looked at it.
Unfortunately, Colbert and Stewart are spotty at their coverage because of the writers strike.
Where do you go for your political news? Do you prefer a biased view (i.e. Fox News) or balanced (i.e. MSNBC)?
Better yet - do you care yet? Are you going to?
All of our local news stations are hitting us with "We're Your Source for the Latest on the Campaign Trail." They don't mean their parent, they mean their own little sites. I'm confident that Fox5DC is not in touch with the rest of the country. Heck, they are fairly out of it when it comes to local stuff. (But, they do have a reporter named Wisdom. What a cool name!)
I know that Yahoo has coverage here.
I know that CNN is covering here.
NPR is covering here, though I have not looked at it.
Unfortunately, Colbert and Stewart are spotty at their coverage because of the writers strike.
Where do you go for your political news? Do you prefer a biased view (i.e. Fox News) or balanced (i.e. MSNBC)?
Better yet - do you care yet? Are you going to?
January 21, 2008
Do You Blog Differently?
This time of year a lot of people post about "Why I Blog" and the such. I blog because it's a way to communicate to folks that I really want to email, but just don't. I blog to keep people updated on Abby's world. I blog to get feedback from folks on how they are doing. I blog about my kidneys as a way to 1 - inform and 2 - remember. Let's face it, I've been on enough drugs that it's hard to keep them straight. I've had surgeries that I can hardly remember, and hopefully this is the early stages of my disease and I have a lot more pain and annoyance to look forward to. (Honestly! No drugs means less life. It's annoying, but if it keeps me around, I'm okay with it.)
I find myself commenting on blogs a lot more recently. That's fun too.
I find myself commenting on blogs a lot more recently. That's fun too.
But, and there's always a but.... I find myself wanting to blog about things that I can not. My parents read my blog. My mother-in-law reads my blog. My co-workers read my blog. Not that I'm a fan of surprises, but if I want to tell people that I've cut off my foot, I would probably tell certain people first, and in the right time. (For the record, my foot is fine, but I didn't want to use a real example, that would be bad.)
I found a friends blog online this week and told her that I did. She's the intern at our church, and I wanted to see if it was okay with her if I read it, or if she intended to be more anonymous locally. (For the record, she was cool with it.)
I know of many pastors around here that blog. Some do it very overtly, encouraging their congregation to read and react. One occasionally posts early versions of his sermon for feedback prior to presenting. One was anonymous to most people, but when she realized that the folks that knew her moniker, she was concerned that her head of staff would find out and be hurt. Nothing to offend her, just some boundaries that might need to be set.
When I don't blog, it's typically because the things going on are things that would effect me negatively either in the family or work. Do I have bad days at work? Hellstotheyes. We installed a new server and it's driven me nuts a few times. I don't blog about it because at the office I have the "hey, we got something new, we've got to work the kinks out" face to keep on. Truth: it sucks. (Sure hope the office isn't reading this week!)
There are both exciting and trying things in my life that I can't blog about yet, but really want to.
So - do you blog differently because you know who is reading? Do you find yourself keeping things closer or being more daring? Do you know that someone is reading, and blog anyway?
January 15, 2008
History: The Way We Met/The First Year
I've decided to blog about some of the things in the past for a couple of reasons. One is that sometimes it is just nice to think back to special times. Another is to have a place for Abby to find it later in life, in case she wants to throw a surprise Anniversary Party (hint, hint older-Abby).
Part One of the series: The summer we met, and the first year we knew each other.
Anny and I met at Camp Glenkirk, which is unfortunately no longer a camp. (Stupid Urban Sprawl.) I was coming back as a Camp Counselor for the third summer and she had signed on to lead games and the low ropes course.
Since I had been working there for several summers, I kind of had my friends lined up, but you can bet that I am always looking to hang out with cool new folks.
We started off staff training the way we would start every group of campers off in the past, and probably how they still do it, playing a name game. Always start with a name-and-favorite-____ type of game. My name is Rob and my favorite pizza combination is ham and pineapple.
Next we moved on to a team-building but still getting-to-know-you game. This "game" was to line up by birthday. Easy enough, right? Yeah, we had just met each other. Oh yeah, the other rule was that you could not talk. It's actually brilliant. Leaders emerge to decide which end is January and which is December. Lots of flashing numbers with your hands. It always takes longer than you think, and often someone is out of order because they were not actually paying attention.
As Anny and I share the same DATE of birth, we thought it would hilarious if she jumped on my back and shared our spot in line. Yeah, real funny, but it certainly broke the ice. Anny typically hung out with the older side of the staff while I always made sure to spend time with just about everyone on staff, so I saw her daily, but on weekends hanging out was rare. She would go to parties, I would stay at camp and be "helpful" with the kids that were there for ten days instead of the regular five.
Most summer camp staff are in college. Most of the folks at CG were in good colleges, certainly not close to Northern Virginia where the camp is. Anny was teaching full time and I was at a local community college. We were "leftover" from the group.
I got a call one day saying that she needed to get away, and since she didn't know many people, I would have to do. (exaggerated, but only slightly.) Actually, Anny had plans for the evening, but needed to kill time during the day and had heard great things about the Inner Harbor in Baltimore. I thought it would be a nice way to spend a Saturday afternoon, so I said sure.
We went up to Baltimore and caught the Maryland Science Center for an Imax movie and had lunch. On our way into one of the destinations Anny got a call on her cell phone canceling her evening plans. Good for me, bad for her. We decided to catch dinner and a movie. If we call this our "first date" it was probably not a good movie choice: Stigmata. (Dinner at TGIFriday's, which is where my brother and his wife had their first date. Cool!)
At the end of the evening we just sat and talked. Catching up on family, friends and life. When we headed back to my house we were greeted with a wagging tail that was not present before I left. While I was out, my Aunt Pam got a puppy! What better way to cap off a non-date-date than with a brand new puppy? Okay, so it was a bit strange to have a dog in the house, but we love her dearly even today.
We hung out a lot from that point on, even had a standing non-date-date on Thursday's for Killians, ice cream and ER. For our (shared) birthday, my family made two cakes, one for her and one for me. (It was my 21st!) That was a fun evening, but since it was actually a week before my birthday and I refuse to break the law, I refrained. Okay, so it was because my family, church friends, work friends, and friend friends were all there and it was a little awkward.
Throughout the spring we began to get really close, but were still on the friends plane. Our friendship was so close that when someone asked if Anny wanted to go see a concert, she checked with me first. I considered that pre-dating, if not full on dating. She did not ever think of it as such. That was the spring that Vertical Horizon's popular song "Everything You Want" was released. Yes, you remember correctly, it was about the fact that you could keep looking, but the perfect mate is me. She missed that too.
Anny had decided to take a job in Tennessee because she was fed up with the bureaucracy of the school system she worked for. I was devastated at the idea, but knew that she should do what's best for her. Friends come and go, always have, always will. Anny was still around for the summer, and we would be working side by side as trip leaders and if something happened, so be it. If not, that was okay too.
Staff training came and went, but she was in and out of that because of her teaching job. Once she was on site and we were around each other more and more, something clicked in her head. On a river trip she had an ah-ha moment. Out Loud. She yelled "EMPATHY" on the side of the Shenandoah river. I was too focused on other stuff to really get what she was trying to say.
I was decidedly in love with Anny at this point. I knew I wanted to marry her right then. Honestly, I know it sounds dorky, but it's true. At a bonfire one night we were talking and she used some metaphor about people leaving but returning and making them stronger - or something like that. That night was so clear and quiet. It was perfect.
The next night I offered to take her out to dinner. Not a handful of staff, just the two of us. We had done this before many times, but this time was different. We both got into our nice clothes and headed to Copeland's. Something was different about Anny. What was it. Oh yeah, I could not remember ever having seen her in makeup! At one point she pulled a lipstick box out of her purse and I actually said "what is that?!" It was just not something I was accustomed to seeing her wear.
When we got back to camp it was late, but we had not yet seen the season finale of ER, aka "our show" at that point in our life. Everyone else knew not to bother us. Now comes the really cheesy part.
We were talking after the show about the summer and us and her job in the fall. I finally just said "do you want to be my girlfriend?" (wow, what a dork. I know, I know.) It was my way of putting everything out there: Yes would mean great things; No would mean an awkward six weeks to close out the summer.
She said "yes."
I like this idea of capturing our history. I capture my kidney history mostly so that I can refer to it. I love our story and love to think about it. It makes me appreciate where we are a little more every time. Other things I want to capture are Our Proposal and Our Wedding. I'm sure there are other important things, and I will rely on Anny to help me decide what those are.
Part One of the series: The summer we met, and the first year we knew each other.
Anny and I met at Camp Glenkirk, which is unfortunately no longer a camp. (Stupid Urban Sprawl.) I was coming back as a Camp Counselor for the third summer and she had signed on to lead games and the low ropes course.
Since I had been working there for several summers, I kind of had my friends lined up, but you can bet that I am always looking to hang out with cool new folks.
We started off staff training the way we would start every group of campers off in the past, and probably how they still do it, playing a name game. Always start with a name-and-favorite-____ type of game. My name is Rob and my favorite pizza combination is ham and pineapple.
Next we moved on to a team-building but still getting-to-know-you game. This "game" was to line up by birthday. Easy enough, right? Yeah, we had just met each other. Oh yeah, the other rule was that you could not talk. It's actually brilliant. Leaders emerge to decide which end is January and which is December. Lots of flashing numbers with your hands. It always takes longer than you think, and often someone is out of order because they were not actually paying attention.
As Anny and I share the same DATE of birth, we thought it would hilarious if she jumped on my back and shared our spot in line. Yeah, real funny, but it certainly broke the ice. Anny typically hung out with the older side of the staff while I always made sure to spend time with just about everyone on staff, so I saw her daily, but on weekends hanging out was rare. She would go to parties, I would stay at camp and be "helpful" with the kids that were there for ten days instead of the regular five.
Most summer camp staff are in college. Most of the folks at CG were in good colleges, certainly not close to Northern Virginia where the camp is. Anny was teaching full time and I was at a local community college. We were "leftover" from the group.
I got a call one day saying that she needed to get away, and since she didn't know many people, I would have to do. (exaggerated, but only slightly.) Actually, Anny had plans for the evening, but needed to kill time during the day and had heard great things about the Inner Harbor in Baltimore. I thought it would be a nice way to spend a Saturday afternoon, so I said sure.
We went up to Baltimore and caught the Maryland Science Center for an Imax movie and had lunch. On our way into one of the destinations Anny got a call on her cell phone canceling her evening plans. Good for me, bad for her. We decided to catch dinner and a movie. If we call this our "first date" it was probably not a good movie choice: Stigmata. (Dinner at TGIFriday's, which is where my brother and his wife had their first date. Cool!)
At the end of the evening we just sat and talked. Catching up on family, friends and life. When we headed back to my house we were greeted with a wagging tail that was not present before I left. While I was out, my Aunt Pam got a puppy! What better way to cap off a non-date-date than with a brand new puppy? Okay, so it was a bit strange to have a dog in the house, but we love her dearly even today.
We hung out a lot from that point on, even had a standing non-date-date on Thursday's for Killians, ice cream and ER. For our (shared) birthday, my family made two cakes, one for her and one for me. (It was my 21st!) That was a fun evening, but since it was actually a week before my birthday and I refuse to break the law, I refrained. Okay, so it was because my family, church friends, work friends, and friend friends were all there and it was a little awkward.
Throughout the spring we began to get really close, but were still on the friends plane. Our friendship was so close that when someone asked if Anny wanted to go see a concert, she checked with me first. I considered that pre-dating, if not full on dating. She did not ever think of it as such. That was the spring that Vertical Horizon's popular song "Everything You Want" was released. Yes, you remember correctly, it was about the fact that you could keep looking, but the perfect mate is me. She missed that too.
Anny had decided to take a job in Tennessee because she was fed up with the bureaucracy of the school system she worked for. I was devastated at the idea, but knew that she should do what's best for her. Friends come and go, always have, always will. Anny was still around for the summer, and we would be working side by side as trip leaders and if something happened, so be it. If not, that was okay too.
Staff training came and went, but she was in and out of that because of her teaching job. Once she was on site and we were around each other more and more, something clicked in her head. On a river trip she had an ah-ha moment. Out Loud. She yelled "EMPATHY" on the side of the Shenandoah river. I was too focused on other stuff to really get what she was trying to say.
I was decidedly in love with Anny at this point. I knew I wanted to marry her right then. Honestly, I know it sounds dorky, but it's true. At a bonfire one night we were talking and she used some metaphor about people leaving but returning and making them stronger - or something like that. That night was so clear and quiet. It was perfect.
The next night I offered to take her out to dinner. Not a handful of staff, just the two of us. We had done this before many times, but this time was different. We both got into our nice clothes and headed to Copeland's. Something was different about Anny. What was it. Oh yeah, I could not remember ever having seen her in makeup! At one point she pulled a lipstick box out of her purse and I actually said "what is that?!" It was just not something I was accustomed to seeing her wear.
When we got back to camp it was late, but we had not yet seen the season finale of ER, aka "our show" at that point in our life. Everyone else knew not to bother us. Now comes the really cheesy part.
We were talking after the show about the summer and us and her job in the fall. I finally just said "do you want to be my girlfriend?" (wow, what a dork. I know, I know.) It was my way of putting everything out there: Yes would mean great things; No would mean an awkward six weeks to close out the summer.
She said "yes."
I like this idea of capturing our history. I capture my kidney history mostly so that I can refer to it. I love our story and love to think about it. It makes me appreciate where we are a little more every time. Other things I want to capture are Our Proposal and Our Wedding. I'm sure there are other important things, and I will rely on Anny to help me decide what those are.
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