CNN Article on Infertility - from a Dude

A while back I wrote a blog post about our infertility journey from the perspective of both of us - I even had Anny proofread and edit as she saw fit. I do not mean to imply that I held anything back because I was afraid of what she would say or think, I just knew that for the post in question it was a retrospective type with a dual purpose, and I value her input on things like that.

Yesterday I came across an article on CNN.com that I think is worth a read if you, or someone you know, is going through infertility. This is written from the perspective of ahusband, but I think it would be great for friends and family to read as well.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/05/17/sedaka.infertility.husbands/index.html?hpt=C2

It's been literally years since we went through our fertility issues, but I can tell you that Anny and I had our biggest struggles with communication when we were struggling with infertility as well. It was only when we broke down and talked through the hard things that we made progress and decisions that we needed to make. 

The best part of the article is the suggestion to not use absolutes when talking about either the future, or just the future of treatments. We had all but given up when Anny asked me to reconsider my "declaration" that we were done.  I was young and not thinking things through at the time - and that experience was a great teaching lesson on giving up absolutes when it comes to anything in our relationship (or life). 

And really, guys, doing the guy test is NOTHING and if you do not just go and do it without complaint, your spouse has every right to punch you in the crotch.

Anyway - wanted to share this article and a little bit of perspective from a guy who went through some of this. We are lucky ones - we only went a little bit in debt (compared to others) and we have a wonderful daughter to show for it. My heart goes out to those who are not so lucky.

Making Friends is Hard to Do...

Okay, so maybe the blog title is a bit strong, but in my head it is sung to the tune of "Breaking Up is Hard to Do" by Neil Sedaka.

We have been here in Missouri for a while now. We have made several friends and sets of friends. We each have friends at work, and we have friends from church. We have Paul and Sarahlynn, obviously, they are the reason we moved here!

Anny and I are nice people and we really do make friends easily. But how we move folks from the "people we know who we are friendly with" to "let's hang out just because" people?

Our problem is pretty much the same as we have always had in the past - we do not like the idea of imposing or assuming for others that we know when it comes to making plans. We have invited folks over on occasion, but not often. We have not yet figured out who to invite to which kind of events, and how to invite (or get invites!) to things like parades or just hanging out.

We do have a non-scheduled but fairly-regular desert date at a local frozen yogurt that just opened in the last few months, Red Mango. Abby can not talk about that place without talking about calling Maggie to go with us! (Which also made for a funny Facebook status one time...)

I am at a loss. I am hopeful that it will be easier as the weather gets nicer and there is more sunlight at the end of the day. I love the three musketeers that are Abby, Anny and I, but I like to repeat my stories and I need new ears!

So how do adults make plans with other adults?!

Abby's First Written Word!

Not the easiest to make out because she was using a workshop-pencil, but this morning Abby wrote her first word completely on her own and completely unprompted! She knows how to spell some words because she does "exercises" on the computer where she types:

• Abby M
• Mommy
• Daddy
• Dog
• Anny
• Rob

We have not pushed much on the handwritten words just yet, though she does have a dry-erase book that she often practices her letters in. You know, one of those trace and erase deals. Very cool.

Well this morning she came over to me while I was finishing my breakfast and said "I want to write MOMMY, but I can not make the 'Y' right!" We flipped over the page and I showed her that it is like a V with one big leg. She made flags. I suggested one last try and Abby nailed it!

M-O-TwoM's...Not enough room for the Y! She proceeded to write the "Y" in the only place that made sense, and that is what you see above.

She did a little doubling back, but this is pretty clearly the first word she has written.





I was sure to save that information and NOT put it on Facebook or the blog before I showed it to Anny. I made her stop by my office and she did manage to hold back the adorable-tears, but they were close.

So proud of my little girl, both for the accomplishment and for the fact that she is really excited to learn new things. LOVE HER.

Crafty Dad: Photo Display

So last week I declared that I would hang things on the walls this weekend, and I have!  I have hung four things, which is not great considering there are about ten more to go.  A good deal of our battle, though, came from deciding what to hang up at all.  We did not do a great job of sorting before we moved from Maryland, and that was mostly due to the fact that we did not know how or where we would be living after Paul and Sarahlynn's house.

(Long rant about personal and responsible financial decisions redacted. Another post for another time)

Anny will tell you that I am a picture snob when it comes to actually printing them.  I take hundreds every month and now there there is Facebook and Picasa and Flickr I share more than I used to, but printing is a stretch for me.  Fun fact: it's only January 9th and I have already deleted more than 120 this month.

We have lots of wall space in our apartment and have been talking about hanging things since about week two of living here.  Clearly this is not a priority for me.  In the end I decided that what I really want is a way to have pictures displayed, but not have to frame-commit to pictures.  The fewer holes in the wall the better, or something like that.

We got a gift box with a really pretty royal purple colored ribbon and one day I thought that it would be cool to find a use for.  The next day my thought evolved to using it for a photo display of some sort.  We decided where to use the new find, roughly.  I was concerned about a sag in the middle.  While measuring to decide where to put it on the wall and something clicked: USE the yard stick to support the project!  Less nails, more support!

Anyway, here is what we did:

Started with a yard stick and drilled holes at the 1 inch, 18 inch and 35 inch marks of the stick.  This made nailing to the wall later much easier!

I hot glued the purple ribbon to the yard stick after centering it.  Turns out I did not let the glue get hot enough before trying to put the ribbon on.  Solution? Anny pulled out the iron and used a VERY gentle setting to melt the glue through the ribbon to flatten out the spots.

Using the drilled holes I put a nail in each side.  (There is a hole in the middle if we need to give more support later, but I did not use it.)  I did the drilled holes mostly in an effort to not have to put a whole lot of power into nailing with the nice ribbon on it. 

We have hung the pictures with magnets, so neither the pictures or the ribbon are going to be hurt when we change things in and out. 

Total cost of the project was one dollar, for magnets. Had I thought through it better, I would have just brought home some plain magnets from work that we can use for more pictures.  The ribbon was free from a gift basket, the yard stick was free (to someone else, years and years ago) from a paint and room-design store. 

This give me flexibility to change pictures in and out - or a designated place and way to display Christmas Cards next year - which should lead me to print more pictures, which makes Anny happy.  This is a win win project!  It took less than ten minutes of work time, too! 

Overwhelmed

Not blogging recently.  Everything is okay, just hard to make time to "journal" all that is going on.

I did want to take a moment to say how overwhelmed Anny and I are by the outpouring of love and support that we are getting from our friends and co-workers.

Anny's teacher-friends threw her a surprise party, complete with Rob-who-should-have-been-at-work!  When I walked in I was not greeted warmly - Anny had a large, sharp knife in her hand and she *might* have pointed it in my direction in retaliation for not spilling the beans on her.  A few tears.  Lots of hugs.  Lots of smiles.

My office had a lunch yesterday at Tower Oaks Lodge.  I think I'm STILL full from lunch yesterday, and it's almost time to eat breakfast.  I was given several gifts, including a book called "What Would Rob Do?" and a Desk Vacuum Zamboni.  I am looking forward to the book, and looking forward to the fun of the new office toy! 

On Sunday we will be overwhelmed again at church, I just know it.  There is a lot of emotion there right now as our pastor is ill, and that will make it just a little bit harder.  We have only been at LPC for five years, but it genuinely feels like a lifetime.  The people at our church are like family, and that is even more true for Abby than for us.

And to be completely honest, I'm overwhelmed at the idea of leaving my family and the house that I grew up in.  Special shout out of "thanks" to Miranda Lambert for releasing this song this spring:



I grew up in this house.  I lived in this house during crazy times and during incredibly sad times.  I lived in this house when I met Anny, and have lived here for other incredibly awesome times. 

I have always been close with my family - and that was even more emphasized when my brother and I moved in with my grandparents, father and aunt in 1991.  We now see my three aunts and my brother, sister-in-law and new niece weekly at Family Dinner.  It's been really fun, and I will miss having those connections the most. 

And that all of that is without acknowledging all of the valuable friendships that will change as we move from one side of the Mississippi River to the other.  Even though we know we will be back here two, three or more times a year, but that does mean we can't pop over with burgers and hot dogs on a random Sunday evening.  Or can't email at noon one day to set up an impromptu Ikea dinner.  (Side note - I am going to miss Ikea!)

Above all I am excited, but it would be unfair to not acknowledge that I am overwhelmed in both good and bad ways.  I am afraid that I'm only talking about the positives and excitement that I have, and that is tending toward overlooking the things that I will miss. 

Eighth Anniversary Post

03 30 20 02

Two palindromes. Those two palindromes, though, are etched into my memory, my life and, just as a reminder, my wedding ring. We did not select March 30th because of its pelindromicity, but because it was the Saturday of Easter weekend and we knew that it would be easier for folks that had to travel to be with us.

Yes, we are the jerks that scheduled a wedding for a holiday weekend. Sorry.

We got married at Camp Glenkirk, which no longer exists. When long-time campers or counselors talk about a part of them that was sold that day I can only think about the number of days and nights that Anny and I spent there together.

Anyway, not going to bore with the long story of our wedding day that began with my choosing to have a liquid breakfast, followed by Pepto Bismol for the next six hours and ending with watching ER that we had to tape because we had company over. Instead, I’ll just share three photos that I scanned in this morning:

This one is right after the “I now pronounce you” part of the ceremony, walking away arm in arm:

This one is sitting by a meditation pond/garden that we helped to build. It’s classic wedding-cheese:

And here is one that is pretty typical of our lives back then, and hopefully some day in the future. Here we are walking in the woods from the ceremony to the reception:

There are dozens of people that helped to make our day special, and I have thanked them over and over, and will continue to do so for years to come. I always tell friend who are engaged that it’s just ONE day of your life together, that even if things turn out to be quirky or don’t go exactly according to plan that it does not matter. It’s just a day.

But it’s a day that folks take a gagizillion pictures, so we celebrate it by sharing those pictures year after year. :o)

Not An Accident

I truly believe that my daughter is more valuable than any other child.  You should think the same about yours.  I think that is a great starting point for being a parent.

I realized that Anny and I have not honestly shared our story, and there might be someone who wants to or needs to hear it.  We know many people who "just tried once or twice" to get pregnant, and while we are always elated for them, it always reminds us of our journey. 

Be forewarned, I write about my sex life in this post, but I assure you that part is brief.  There some details will be more than you ever wanted to know about me and my wife, but they are not gory or gruesome.  There are details of our lives that I keep to myself, believe it or not.  Feel free to hit the "back" button on your browser.  I'll have a cute Abby picture post later this week.

As a quick refresher: Anny and I met in the summer of 1999.  We knew each other for about six months before she was completely bored and called me to go to Baltimore for the day.  We became close friends shortly thereafter.  We were best friends by the start of summer camp in 2000 and began dating around mid-summer (I'm sure I could dig up the date if I had to).  In 2001 we were engaged and married in March of 2002.  (The last date I know without a doubt!)

In 2003 we made a trip for Presidents Day to visit Paul and Sarahlynn whereupon they told us that they were having a child!  Anny and I were of course elated, but our tone of conversation quickly changed, even before we boarded the airplane to head for home on Monday.  We had obviously talked about having children before we were married, that is the responsible thing to do.  We had joked and talked about timing and names and all of those silly things that hopeful people do, but something changed with that monkey picture that was so neatly wrapped for us that night.  All of the sudden a switch went off for Anny, and we had to talk through that.

Shortly thereafter we had to talk through all of the even-more-fun-than-poking-yourself-in-the-eye (at least to a 24 year old man!) conversations about how many children, how could we afford such a burden, how big of a house would we require for our brood, et cetera.  Some of these conversations were wonderful and fun - let's have six children so that they can all play hockey together and not have to play with others! - but some were very hard - if I make $X.00 and you make $Y.00 but we need $X.00 + $Y.00 + $Z,ZZZ.00 to make this happen, how do we make this work? A big question that we had to jump through was whether or not there was a chance to pass on my kidney disease to any offspring we had, because that was a big deal for me.  I checked with my nephrologist on this one and we're safe.

We talked each other off of a couple of ledges over the course of a couple of weeks and decided that we would join Paul and Sarahlynn in their joyous time and get pregnant and have children at around the same time - maybe about six months apart, but certainly close enough to share a wonderful bond with each other and make everyone in the world gasp at how perfect they would both be.

A month went by after Anny went off of "the" pill with nothing - no baby, no period - nothing.  We were young and enjoying "trying" to make a baby, so we didn't really notice.  Another month went by and Anny got to questioning things, but I was still having fun sex more often than before, so I saw nothing really wrong.  Month after month went by with nothing to show for our efforts but a happy husband and a growing-depressed wife.  Don't get me wrong, I was disappointed, but for a male who spent my work life revolved around children, I was getting my cute-kid fix often without having one of my own.  Heck, I had even picked up a second job at the church working with youth, so I was really happy.

After Ellie was born things really ramped up and we Anny decided that it would be best to have a doctor intervene and figure out what was "wrong" with us and why it was not happening for us the way that (we perceived) it happens for everyone else: you go off the pill in April and you have a beautiful bouncing baby by the next April.  After doing research we settled on a very well known group in the DC area who's name I will give you if you contact me, but I will not put out here because overall they are wonderful, but did not handle us exactly the way they should have.

For almost a year (this was over the course of 2004-2005) we were under the care of a professional fertility clinic - subscribing to their very strenuous schedules and tests, all of which are "normal" as a part of the program and I think are designed to prove to them that you really want to be a parent.  Anny would drive from Manassas to Fairfax and back, before school began, three or four times a week for blood tests and other tests, and we drove to different places as necessary (luckily on weekends mostly) for Intra-Uterine Insemination (IUI) treatments when her body was "ready" for that step in the process.

We went through the process three or four times - I could tell you from bank records - without any success at all.  I was ready to have conversation about adoption or being Childless-But-Happy, as many people are, but every time it came up we got into huge fights that ended with one of us in tears and the other steaming mad.  The role changed each time, I think.  I will not say that it took its toll on our marriage as it does to some other people, though.  I think that because of our "failure" we had a lot of honest conversations that people tend to avoid, and that continues now.  (Silver Lining, or something like that.)

In 2005 we moved from Manassas, VA to Maryland.  I moved in March and Anny had to stay back in VA until school was over in June.  We had made the decision that this was best for us as a married couple, though would mean tricky times for procreation.  Meeting up at the IHOP twice a week in Vienna was not exactly ideal, though I might have made the offer on more than one occasion!  We decided to stop what we had been doing and start from scratch when we were settled in on the other side of the river.

Anny moved up to join me in Maryland as soon as school let out, and my Aunt moved out of the house in August, right as school was starting for Anny.  Not an ideal situation - new school, new year, new everything - to start things back up, but the fertility clinic had a location close to her work.  So we started the process of IUI again during the summer.  On the first time "back in the saddle" we had success and got to see our little "Smudge" (which began Abby's own site).

During the process of repeated IUI treatments we kept things to ourselves and a very small group of people who knew - supervisors at work and a few friends.  I am not sure if that was a blessing or a curse, though.  It was harder for me to keep things quiet - as is obvious because I keep a blog, and hard for Anny to talk to other people about it because of the intimate privacy that is associated with it.

Bottom line - Abby is the only thing in the world that Anny and I have ever truly yearned for or wanted.  She is our everything. 

*This post was originally written in a defensive stance.  Someone whose sense of humor is not tolerated around me anymore called Abby an "accident" while she was playing.  I wrote this post shortly thereafter.  I realized that I did not want Abby to ever read this and have it come across as negative, so it has been re-written.  Some of the sentiment may still remain, and I hope that you will look past that.  Thanks.

Set Up by My Wife

I got set-up by my beloved wife on Saturday in the worst way. I don't know if she just wanted to make me miserable, or planned out the perfect "mama love fest" with our toddler, but either way, she "won" the contest of best parent - because it's the score at the end of the day that counts.

Imagine if you will - an early Saturday morning in a suburban home of three people and numerous animals. One of the people, let's call her Abby for the sake of story reality, wakes up at 4:30 am (0430 for you military folks out there). I shot up to try to soothe and get some more sleep. No dice. Dutifully, I got up and did TV time and breakfast before mamabear woke up at, let's say for the sake of the story, 6:45 am. Still early? Yes.

The day goes along swimmingly until nap time - which Abby skips completely. She put up a good fight, and ultimately we settled for some Willy Wonka and rest time instead of actual sleep.

Since it looked like mamabear needed a break, I took the girl-child to a local museum for an hour or so in order that mom have a few minutes to herself to chill out. That did the trick! Everyone happy and glad to be back under the same roof, we ordered pizza and watched some playoff football.

While I was trying to steal a few minutes to check in on the devils time vacuum Facebook and upload new pictures to Flickr, mamabear in the clan decided to be "subtle" (her words, not his) and begin to run a bath. She pretty quickly ahemed toward me, to which I jumped into his normal bath routine, but with a goal of having hair washed this time. (We typically do this in the shower on Sundays - but she's been fighting that of late.) After a good long while of Abby playing in the tub, I grabbed some shampoo and began the torturous necessary process of washing a little girls hair - a process that takes less than a minute.

It was at that point that he picked up a cup of water from the tub and realized that the water would have been suitable for drinking with the addition of one ice cube, or two on a summer day! That lady set.me.up.

It turned out I was dealing with a child who, on top of hating the idea of nice-smelling, tangle-free hair, was freezing cold.

Abby screamed her head off and would not let me come near her - not to empty the tub or once I got her out, would not let me dry her off. Then, right on cue, the gallant knight-ess rode in to save the day - even went back for some couch-cuddle time. I even got stiffed on a goodnight kiss!

I understand it was simply an issue that "just happened" but DAMN! I feel like I got set up.

New Rule: If I'm doing bath time, I am doing it start to finish. I'm not dealing with the choices of someone else to run my program.

On Our Birthday

I realized over the weekend that this is the tenth birthday that Anny and I have celebrated together.  My family threw a big to-do for my 21st birthday that mixed family, church friends, camp friends and school friends.  It was bizarre in many ways, but a really great way to celebrate.

(I put this picture up for a different post a year ago and Sarahlynn said "Hey, who are those people?"  I assure you, that's us!)



We were not dating - heck, it too Anny another 18 months to even consider the prospect.  My family is just cool like that - someone has a birthday, let's make them a cake.  Two birthdays?  Two cakes!

So - once again to my beloved - A Great Big Happy Birthday! 

Why I Am Glad Summer Is Over

This is really just a summer-in-review post since we have been fairly neglectful of Abby's blog in the last few months.   There has been lots going on... 

PHEW!  Summer Break is winding down for Anny and Abby.  Actually, they both go back to their regularly scheduled school days tomorrow and I have never been so happy to see someone go to work in my life.  As I have had to sit at my desk, day after day, they have been out doing wonderful things with each other. 

What kind of wonderful things?  This summer they spent chunks of time in Downtown Silver Spring - every Wednesday to be exact.  They have a wonderful children's program during the summer, which is perfectly located because if your child tires of the magician, workout routine or singer/songwriter, they can just go play in the massive play-on fountain area.


They also went on daytime dates with Anny's Aunt Jackie and Uncle Bill to the Museum of Natural History, complete with massive Mammoth and gigantor Whale.  I know this because Abby's eyes still get huge when she talks about that whale!  (no picture because it seems Anny does not carry either camera unless I am around.)

They have spent most Tuesday and Thursday mornings at the Fairland Sports and Aquatics Complex in Laurel.  During the summer they offer "Open Gym" two mornings a week where for $5 you get free run of their entire gymnastics room - trampolines, toddler-equipment, foam pit - for an hour.  The other upside to this activity has been seeing some of Abby's friends there from week to week!  (no picture again, sorry.  It is a trend.  The only reason we have the fountain picture is that Nana was there!)

On Thursday of last week they took advantage of cruddy weather and a great deal to go see Horton Hears a Who at Arundel Mills with friends.  I still have yet to see that movie.  It sounds like it was a good time.

They have had a few playdates with some of Abby's friends, including special trips to the pool.  They have also had a lot of fun painting, coloring, going for walks around the lake and, well, whatever else came to mind!  There has been lots of Elmo and Signing Time going on in our house, too. 

All in all, Anny and Abby have had an excellent summer and are headed back to school this week.  I've never been happier.

Happy Mother's Day

While I have neglected my duties just a little bit for Anny's special day*, I wish all of you mom's out there a Happy Mother's Day.  It is hard work no matter what the age of your children, or of yourself.  I pray today that you have peace and quiet, a cooked meal that someone else had made, and a feeling that you are loved. 

As I know the struggle that many people have, I am pasting my favorite (if that's the right word) Mother's Day prayer from a few years back written by my friend Jan Edmiston.  She wrote this the MD before Anny and I were parents and we were struggling mightily with our situation.  This brought me peace:

I'm thinking about and praying for all those for whom tomorrow will be a rough day: those with mean mothers, sick mothers, absent mothers, disappointing mothers. Those who would love to be mothers but are not. For mothers who have lost their children and children who have lost their mothers.

 *Due to a heavy work load this week I was not able to pick up a gift certificate, but the intent is there and that's all I can say right now due to the readership of this blog.  It's not dirty, there just might be other mom's involved.  If I keep typing, I'll spill the beans...

Wyoming for Easter!

FINALLY! We have been home for two weeks now and I'm just now finding time to sit down and blog about our awesome trip to Wyoming. I will not bore with every little detail that I'm remembering, but will share a few things.  A little background would be that Anny's parents live in Casper, and her brother's family drove out from Saint Louis.

Flights
Abby was incredible on all four of our flights to and from Casper!  We pulled out the stops, but it was worth it.  We had and used:
1 sucker
Many songs
Madagascar on my iPod
Several books

We made friends with everyone around us just to be safe, but Abby only even whined once that I can remember.  A funny note here is that on our flight into Casper, on a little jet, Abby was blissfully happy until the plane touched the ground.  It was then, and only then, that she fell asleep in my arms!  Too cute.

Weather!

The weather was absolutely incredible.  There was snow on the ground, of course, but we were outside every day in short sleeves playing on the swing set!  We had a few well intentioned snowball fights, but nobody got too hurt.  (Sorry again, Anny.  I love you and did not mean to cream you in the face with a ball made of snow.  Funny?  Yes.  Intentional?  Not exactly!)  Really the only time that I even wore a coat on our trip was the morning we went up ON the mountain.


Schedules
Our biggest challenge turned out to be schedules.  Abby is an Eastern Time girl, her cousins are Central Time girls and we were visiting the Mountain Time Zone.  Abby napped before her cousins and was awake way too early every day.  The grandparents were good sports about all of it and extremely accommodating to our craziness! 

FUN! 
The bottom line is that we had a blast and wish we could be together more often with that part of the family but indeed the miles are vast between us, for now at least.

Finally
Of course I took lots and lots of pictures and they are available HERE and HERE.

Once again I made a trip to Wyoming and saw FEET of snow on the ground but none fall from the sky.  As my Mother-In-Law said, that's okay!  It's that I was there to see the snow that matters!

Lucky Number Seven

Today is my Anniversary!  Seven wonderful years ago we were married.  We have moved three times, bought our first home, and have a beautiful daughter to enjoy every day.  Anny is my best friend and I can not imagine life without her. 

Happy Anniversary Anny!  I love you!

Six Word Love Story

From the Washington Post, for Valentine's Day.  Some of theirs are much sweeter than mine.  I'll post mine here and see when Anny gets around to reading it.  :o)

Here's mine:
Oblivious, Empathy, Best Friends, Never Happier.

-or-

Through thick and thin, only you.

What would your six word love story be?

A Day of Quiet

Don't think that I'm joining a Monastary or planning to avoid talking for a day!

Yesterday Anny and I took a mental health day off of work and spent a wonderful day together to celebrate our shared birthday on Tuesday.  We took Abby to school at the regular time so that her routine would remain the same.  Then we headed home to get laundry going and pick up the house a bit before our vacation to Saint Louis that starts on Saturday. 

If I was to confess, I would let everyone know that Anny and I have only had two dates on our own since Abby was born.  We did have a third double-date over the summer sans children, and that was fun too.  It became a goal for yesterday - have a really messy, non-child-friendly meal, and boy did we deliver.  We went to a barbecue joint and I got two kinds of ribs!  Completely messy and completely wonderful.

We love Abby dearly, but it was nice to not have to chase a toddler.

Okay - tell me that we're not the only ones who have been out less than five times in the first 18 months of a childs life.  Give me some hope, people! 

Divorce

I wanted to blog about this last week, but there are a lot of things going on, including a memorial service for a woman barely older than I am, that have made my computer time a little more limited. I'm okay with that. I think I have finally found a good online/real-life balance again.

On Monday night I told Anny that if divorce was not so expensive, I would push her for one right now.  Before you think that there is trouble in our little paradise, let me assure you that all is well in our lives, home and marriage.  It's that last word that is troubling me.

Last week California took away the legal rights that had finally been granted to the LGBT community - that of marriage - with Proposition 8.  I guess I had only been reading liberal websites, because it looked to me like it would be overwhelmingly defeated by what I could tell. 

I just can not wrap my mind around knowingly taking away someone's rights that you enjoy yourself. 

Please do not quote to me from the Bible - I can not believe that God wants for some of us to have freedoms that others do not.  Do not tell me that "God intended for marriage between one woman and one man" because that is not where marriage came from.  If you look, from the Old Testament, marriage was typically between one man and many women.  Not exactly something that would fly these days.  Later it was merely a way to unite two land-owning families.

Here is Keith Olberman's response to the vote.  He pretty much sums up my thoughts.



If you view it as protection for children, ponder this... Would it be better for a child to grow up in a loving household of two parents, regardless of gender, or to have a split home where parents are fighting all the time and calling each other names?  If you're against gay marriage for the sake of "the family" perhaps we should outlaw divorce too.

See more videos at Funny or Die

Here's another way to think about it: more marriages means more money for your state/county budget.  Yes, you can think about this issue in a number of ways, why not just make it about cashola?  If you are denying the rights of same sex couples from marrying, really you should be charged more in taxes to make up the difference, because getting married is not a cheap affair.  Not just the state/county fees, but think about all of the people being out of work that could be catering, singing and organizing more weddings.

Civil Unions does not do justice, either.  That's not true - how about make everyone do a Justice of the Peace Civil Union and not call it marriage.  The playing field needs to be leveled. 

I'm closing comments because I don't want to argue about this - and I know that I differ from some of your views.  I don't need more conversation.  I need for people to think differently - to be differently.