Complete Randomness

I know that it's been too long since writing on my blog when my friend Bryan has noticed!  He gave me grief about it Tuesday night, and thus I will write something.  I think I filled him in on everything, but not the rest of you!

Abby:
She'll be three on Saturday.  THREE!  I'm already to the "what was there before Abby" point in her life, and I love it!  We have festivities planned to fill every minute of the weekend, or so it seems.  I am still amazed when she learns something new - or remembers something from months ago that we thought was since passed.

Abby is a little clueless on the whole move-thing.  We've talked with her a few times, but how much is a three year old really going to retain on that front?  She knows we are going to live with her cousins for a while, but has not made the leap that we won't be living here.  I'm a little worried about her, but not a whole lot.  She's smart, she will figure it out.

Post tomorrow about her take on the BP Oil Destruction.  (Sorry, it's not a spill, no matter how they say it.)

Anny:
Had her braces off on Monday!  She has not eaten an apple or chewed gum like she wanted to, but she got a congratulatory bottle of sparkling cider and three balloons from the office to celebrate!  She looks completely different, and I will share a story about Abby's take on it...

Monday afternoon I pointed out that mommy had her braces off, and it took a minute for Abby to really look and investigate.  She is very much a thinker.  She looked back to my teeth, to be sure I wasn't pulling a trick on her I guess.  She looked back at Anny and declared "Now Mommy's teeth match mine!"  You're right, sweetie!  She is very into matching things - colors, animals and apparently teeth!

Rob:
Doing alright, thanksforasking.  I had to work a long weekend retreat, but it was good to see some folks and have meals together.  I went out early on Friday afternoon and got in a good hike with my camera, and did the same on Saturday morning.  Here is one of my favorite shots:

On my way home Saturday, Anny called to see if we were going to try to make it out to Bowiefest (no) and what our dinner plan was.  Abby begged for the phone and said "Daddy, you need to come home to me, okay?"  Melted my damned heart.  I don't know if my meds are messing with me, but it hit me that it was the first morning that I had been away from Abby in at least a year, if not longer, and that is the part that really stunk about the retreat.  Good for the community, bad for my paternal-instincts.  I got home and she gave me the biggest hug ever - and she's a good hugger to start with!  Best ever.

I had a nephrologist appointment on Tuesday.  My protein is up, as well as my createnine.  Neither has shot up to levels of concern, but certainly levels of interest.  That being said - we are raising my medication levels and are going to test again in two weeks.  He has suggested that based on this info, I would be better off finding a new nephrologist to visit in late July, rather than waiting for the fall.  Bummer, but okay.

And that is a quick roundup.  I will do a post about the oil spill, and hope to put the finishing touches on a Third Birthday Video for Abby.  Kind of want to do a "dear Abby" letter to her for her big day, too.  Maybe.  Maybe. 

Not An Accident

I truly believe that my daughter is more valuable than any other child.  You should think the same about yours.  I think that is a great starting point for being a parent.

I realized that Anny and I have not honestly shared our story, and there might be someone who wants to or needs to hear it.  We know many people who "just tried once or twice" to get pregnant, and while we are always elated for them, it always reminds us of our journey. 

Be forewarned, I write about my sex life in this post, but I assure you that part is brief.  There some details will be more than you ever wanted to know about me and my wife, but they are not gory or gruesome.  There are details of our lives that I keep to myself, believe it or not.  Feel free to hit the "back" button on your browser.  I'll have a cute Abby picture post later this week.

As a quick refresher: Anny and I met in the summer of 1999.  We knew each other for about six months before she was completely bored and called me to go to Baltimore for the day.  We became close friends shortly thereafter.  We were best friends by the start of summer camp in 2000 and began dating around mid-summer (I'm sure I could dig up the date if I had to).  In 2001 we were engaged and married in March of 2002.  (The last date I know without a doubt!)

In 2003 we made a trip for Presidents Day to visit Paul and Sarahlynn whereupon they told us that they were having a child!  Anny and I were of course elated, but our tone of conversation quickly changed, even before we boarded the airplane to head for home on Monday.  We had obviously talked about having children before we were married, that is the responsible thing to do.  We had joked and talked about timing and names and all of those silly things that hopeful people do, but something changed with that monkey picture that was so neatly wrapped for us that night.  All of the sudden a switch went off for Anny, and we had to talk through that.

Shortly thereafter we had to talk through all of the even-more-fun-than-poking-yourself-in-the-eye (at least to a 24 year old man!) conversations about how many children, how could we afford such a burden, how big of a house would we require for our brood, et cetera.  Some of these conversations were wonderful and fun - let's have six children so that they can all play hockey together and not have to play with others! - but some were very hard - if I make $X.00 and you make $Y.00 but we need $X.00 + $Y.00 + $Z,ZZZ.00 to make this happen, how do we make this work? A big question that we had to jump through was whether or not there was a chance to pass on my kidney disease to any offspring we had, because that was a big deal for me.  I checked with my nephrologist on this one and we're safe.

We talked each other off of a couple of ledges over the course of a couple of weeks and decided that we would join Paul and Sarahlynn in their joyous time and get pregnant and have children at around the same time - maybe about six months apart, but certainly close enough to share a wonderful bond with each other and make everyone in the world gasp at how perfect they would both be.

A month went by after Anny went off of "the" pill with nothing - no baby, no period - nothing.  We were young and enjoying "trying" to make a baby, so we didn't really notice.  Another month went by and Anny got to questioning things, but I was still having fun sex more often than before, so I saw nothing really wrong.  Month after month went by with nothing to show for our efforts but a happy husband and a growing-depressed wife.  Don't get me wrong, I was disappointed, but for a male who spent my work life revolved around children, I was getting my cute-kid fix often without having one of my own.  Heck, I had even picked up a second job at the church working with youth, so I was really happy.

After Ellie was born things really ramped up and we Anny decided that it would be best to have a doctor intervene and figure out what was "wrong" with us and why it was not happening for us the way that (we perceived) it happens for everyone else: you go off the pill in April and you have a beautiful bouncing baby by the next April.  After doing research we settled on a very well known group in the DC area who's name I will give you if you contact me, but I will not put out here because overall they are wonderful, but did not handle us exactly the way they should have.

For almost a year (this was over the course of 2004-2005) we were under the care of a professional fertility clinic - subscribing to their very strenuous schedules and tests, all of which are "normal" as a part of the program and I think are designed to prove to them that you really want to be a parent.  Anny would drive from Manassas to Fairfax and back, before school began, three or four times a week for blood tests and other tests, and we drove to different places as necessary (luckily on weekends mostly) for Intra-Uterine Insemination (IUI) treatments when her body was "ready" for that step in the process.

We went through the process three or four times - I could tell you from bank records - without any success at all.  I was ready to have conversation about adoption or being Childless-But-Happy, as many people are, but every time it came up we got into huge fights that ended with one of us in tears and the other steaming mad.  The role changed each time, I think.  I will not say that it took its toll on our marriage as it does to some other people, though.  I think that because of our "failure" we had a lot of honest conversations that people tend to avoid, and that continues now.  (Silver Lining, or something like that.)

In 2005 we moved from Manassas, VA to Maryland.  I moved in March and Anny had to stay back in VA until school was over in June.  We had made the decision that this was best for us as a married couple, though would mean tricky times for procreation.  Meeting up at the IHOP twice a week in Vienna was not exactly ideal, though I might have made the offer on more than one occasion!  We decided to stop what we had been doing and start from scratch when we were settled in on the other side of the river.

Anny moved up to join me in Maryland as soon as school let out, and my Aunt moved out of the house in August, right as school was starting for Anny.  Not an ideal situation - new school, new year, new everything - to start things back up, but the fertility clinic had a location close to her work.  So we started the process of IUI again during the summer.  On the first time "back in the saddle" we had success and got to see our little "Smudge" (which began Abby's own site).

During the process of repeated IUI treatments we kept things to ourselves and a very small group of people who knew - supervisors at work and a few friends.  I am not sure if that was a blessing or a curse, though.  It was harder for me to keep things quiet - as is obvious because I keep a blog, and hard for Anny to talk to other people about it because of the intimate privacy that is associated with it.

Bottom line - Abby is the only thing in the world that Anny and I have ever truly yearned for or wanted.  She is our everything. 

*This post was originally written in a defensive stance.  Someone whose sense of humor is not tolerated around me anymore called Abby an "accident" while she was playing.  I wrote this post shortly thereafter.  I realized that I did not want Abby to ever read this and have it come across as negative, so it has been re-written.  Some of the sentiment may still remain, and I hope that you will look past that.  Thanks.

Set Up by My Wife

I got set-up by my beloved wife on Saturday in the worst way. I don't know if she just wanted to make me miserable, or planned out the perfect "mama love fest" with our toddler, but either way, she "won" the contest of best parent - because it's the score at the end of the day that counts.

Imagine if you will - an early Saturday morning in a suburban home of three people and numerous animals. One of the people, let's call her Abby for the sake of story reality, wakes up at 4:30 am (0430 for you military folks out there). I shot up to try to soothe and get some more sleep. No dice. Dutifully, I got up and did TV time and breakfast before mamabear woke up at, let's say for the sake of the story, 6:45 am. Still early? Yes.

The day goes along swimmingly until nap time - which Abby skips completely. She put up a good fight, and ultimately we settled for some Willy Wonka and rest time instead of actual sleep.

Since it looked like mamabear needed a break, I took the girl-child to a local museum for an hour or so in order that mom have a few minutes to herself to chill out. That did the trick! Everyone happy and glad to be back under the same roof, we ordered pizza and watched some playoff football.

While I was trying to steal a few minutes to check in on the devils time vacuum Facebook and upload new pictures to Flickr, mamabear in the clan decided to be "subtle" (her words, not his) and begin to run a bath. She pretty quickly ahemed toward me, to which I jumped into his normal bath routine, but with a goal of having hair washed this time. (We typically do this in the shower on Sundays - but she's been fighting that of late.) After a good long while of Abby playing in the tub, I grabbed some shampoo and began the torturous necessary process of washing a little girls hair - a process that takes less than a minute.

It was at that point that he picked up a cup of water from the tub and realized that the water would have been suitable for drinking with the addition of one ice cube, or two on a summer day! That lady set.me.up.

It turned out I was dealing with a child who, on top of hating the idea of nice-smelling, tangle-free hair, was freezing cold.

Abby screamed her head off and would not let me come near her - not to empty the tub or once I got her out, would not let me dry her off. Then, right on cue, the gallant knight-ess rode in to save the day - even went back for some couch-cuddle time. I even got stiffed on a goodnight kiss!

I understand it was simply an issue that "just happened" but DAMN! I feel like I got set up.

New Rule: If I'm doing bath time, I am doing it start to finish. I'm not dealing with the choices of someone else to run my program.

The Upside

I rag on the idea of being married to a teacher from time to time, but when it all boils down I can not imagine being married to someone who is not!  (Okay, so it's a stretch for me to imagine being married to anyone other than Anny, so I'm confined in my thinking!)

After our big snow storm that hit right before Christmas, I know a lot of people who were scrambling to figure out what to do with their children - they had planned all of their vacation days down to the hour, and use or lose had been used.  With schools closed, folks were forced to figure out which parent would take time off - for three extra days.  That's much harder than the occasional one day off.

But I didn't have to worry about that.  When Abby's school is closed, Anny's is too.  When Abby's school is delayed, I can still get to work on time (-ish, I still had to clean off cars!) and not worry about the ramifications.  It was a blessing to have that knowledge.

The summers-off thing is hard sometimes - and I do my fair share of complaining, I promise.  In the same breath I usually say that it's mostly because I'm jealous that the two of them get so much one-on-one time while I'm stuck doing the same thing I do for the rest of the year (now without windows in my office!) every day.  This summer Anny went out of her way to come to the office, with Abby of course, about once a week, though it is pretty far out of her way.

It is also wonderful to know that even if Anny is grading papers, we will all be home, every day for dinner and family time.  In reality, she's around more than I am because I fall asleep by 8:30 9:30 most nights.

An advantage that we have just begun to realize is access to a variety of events that are free for teachers.  We have been to more high school hockey games than I can count, as well as numerous basketball, soccer and football games!  Abby and I have perused the Science Fair projects in past years while Anny was working the room, and no matter what event we go to, our little one gets showered with attention.  That's a plus in my book any day!

As the new year has begun, I've begun to realize just how good I have it, and I believe that a lot of that comes from being married to Anny!

Christmas Gifts - Can be Last Minute!

We have both had the same idea in regards to Christmas gifts for our families.  By "both" I mean that I had an idea in September, and began to put that plan into motion.  Last week Anny "had an idea" that sounded pretty much word-for-word what was described to her in September...  Yes, we "both" had an idea - and I'm sharing that idea with you!

When my office moved over the summer we found lots of supplies that were untouched from the move 5.5 years prior.  We redistributed some of those items to organizations that could use them - and in the case of legal sized manila file folders, I am such an organization!  We got them for the sole purpose of letting Abby pain them until her heart is content.  Some days that is three brush strokes and the fun game "clean the brushes and make the water splash" and other days it's quite a long ordeal.  I hate to throw things away, and hate even more to spend money on paper for her to paint.  Win/Win!

Enter - the plain manila file folders:



With a bit of planning, we had about two dozen of these folders with some sort of paint on them - some were heavily painted and some were not so plentiful:



We cut them into pieces that accommodated the cut-out that we wanted - a Christmas Ornament to show through our perfect Abby picture! (I will not show you the picture yet - you have to wait until everyone getting their picture opens it!) After finding just the right pieces to make our list complete, I drew on the ornament shape (which is the size of our drinking glass, plus a small square on top) and Anny cut them out. We are all about shared labor in our house!


(This was the template one, thus no paint)

The final product looks a lot like this, but with the real picture in it!



With every Ornament-Shaped-Picture-Frame, we are giving each recipient a regular picture frame to put it in.

Total time invested:
Abby - a few minutes about once a week painting whatever she wanted!
Anny - Three months to "come up" with the idea - 20 minutes of cutting and ten of putting pics in and taping it to the back.
Rob - About an hour of picture taking, but it was an outing unto itself, and a negligible amount of time drawing the template on the backs of the painted folders!

"Daddy's Work"

Abby has been to my office - heck she has been to my office more times than most people who don't work here have since she visited once a week in July and August.  She saw my office when I could not get to files from our recent move, and she came back and "helped" me with files when I could.  Abby knows where I work, though she is only two and can have no concept of what I do.

A few weeks back we think that Abby might have gotten the wrong idea about where I go when I leave the house every day.  You see, the three of us typically go fun places on weekends, but we also go to a lot of places over and over again.  We find a place we like and it becomes habit.  We did our best to get every dollar out of our pool membership, so Abby expected swimming a couple of times each week.

One Saturday Anny was not feeling very well and so I decided to grab Abby and get out of the house because it was an incredible afternoon, and the College Park AirFair 100 was going on - celebrating 100 years of aviation in College Park at the airport right around the corner!  Anny dropped us off so that I didn't have to deal with parking.  I took Abby, some cash, a bottle of water and a diaper in my pocket, and off we went!

There were all sorts of things to see - old planes and new ones, gilders and helicopters, an old car and lots and lots of people.  We walked around and saw some of the planes first, but it was blazing hot and there was no shade, so we made a dash for a covered tent.  They have just reconstructed a new Wright Flyer that will travel from city to city, so it was kind of neat to see that.

Because we got there after Abby's nap, we missed all of the really fancy stuff - the sky walkers and the maneuver displays and such.  I was a little bummed about missing the parachute jumpers, but I am not sure that Abby would have really understood how cool it was anyway, so I got over it.  I knew that Abby would get excited to see helicopters up close, and boy was I right!  We even got to go inside a Chinook that was parked for the day, which she then tried to imitate!





We also got to see a few of the choppers take off, which was jaw dropping for her - we stood right under the Montgomery County Police helicopter as it flew away.

We also got to listen to live music and I introduced Abby to her very first ice cream cone!


The bottom line is that I took Abby somewhere by myself (and have done that a lot since then) and we had an incredible time - but Anny and I agree that we believe it has changed Abby's concept of what Daddy does every day.  It seems that she genuinely believes that I got to the airfield every day and watch helicopters and eat ice cream!

ROAD TRIP - Volume 3!

We just returned last week from a wonderful trip halfway across the country and back over the course of a week! I am not going to bore with an insanely long post, so I am breaking it up over the next few days. We were gone from Tuesday to Tuesday, for reference. The posts will be along the lines of:
Volume 1 - Let's Get the Hard Stuff Over First
Volume 2 - Iowa Family Time
Volume 3 - St Louis

Today I'm writing about our time in St Louis with Paul and Sarahlynn and the girls.  I want to be completely honest about this - it's hard for us to visit their house, and it's not their fault.  Or ours.  Or anyone's really.  Every time we go out there we think more and more about relocating there, which makes it a little hard to come home.  Moving right along...

We arrived at their home just as Ellie and Ada were finishing up their lunch and getting ready for their naps.  After a two minute "huh" from Abby as she adjusted to standing after sitting for a few hours, Sarahlynn took all three girls to Ellie's room for a quick story before their naps.  Abby assumed, almost literally, the exact same position as the moments that we left St Louis at Christmas time: playing along the left side of Ellie's room, draped in beads!  Too cute.

We had a great time catching up with some of P&S's friends for dinner the day that we arrived.  I love pizza.  I love good people.  Get me good pizza and good people and I'm one of the happiest guys around.  (Their little boy is incredibly cute, too.  I was just glad that Abby did not crash him over on her way around the couches!)

A while back I had hatched an idea while at Ikea - they have a three-picture-frame that I have always wanted to put in our house, but never found a place/need for.  (Ask Anny - I'm anti-hanging for the most part, but only at our house.)  Since this is the third summer that Abby, Ellie and Ada have seen each other, and we have had professional pictures done the last two summers, we should get the frame and do another photo shoot, and our window really left only Thursday morning.  It was hard to get all three girls, each with very different attention spans, facing the same way and smiling at the same time.  While the very last shot was the best, I am putting this one up because it totally captures Abby lately - laid back and letting others do the hard work:

On Thursday evening we took a trip out to a local wildlife refuge (I wish I knew the name) where they do not allow guns, pets or running.  I've been to places that do not allow the first two, but I have never been to a park that did not allow running.  It is a beautiful facility - paved paths through the woods and hills were perfect, though a bit slippery from the downpour just prior to our arrival.  I am pretty sure that each of us, parents and children slipped, though Sarahlynn came out the worst by tweaking her knee.  I did manage to nail a perfect picture of a leaf, but something in the background messed up my shot:

(So embarrassed that I screwed this shot up so badly!)

So on Friday we left from St Louis to Iowa, but came back to St Louis on Sunday for a few more hours to be able to spend with Ellie and Sarahlynn, as they did not make the trip because of an important obligation at home.  We arrived to a wonderfully light dinner (after eating in Iowa, it was just right!) and chatted the night away once the girls were asleep.

Our plan for Monday was very fluid - our only real travel goal was to make it to Columbus, OH, on our first day of travel, because it is pretty much half way and would make our second day easier.  In the morning we decided to tag along to chit chat while Ellie had swim lessons, and then spend a few minutes in the pool afterwards.  It ended up that we played in the pool for almost an hour!  We I had a blast playing with all three of our girls, as well as having water dumped on me by other people's children. 

After a lunch of Imo's Pizza (is there anything better?!?) we finished loading up the car and hit the road.

In retrospect of the whole trip, the drive from DC suburbs to St Louis suburbs is a long one, but a fairly easy to do trip.  We will be pretty quick to make this trip again in the future, no matter which direction we might be headed. 

Wyoming for Easter!

FINALLY! We have been home for two weeks now and I'm just now finding time to sit down and blog about our awesome trip to Wyoming. I will not bore with every little detail that I'm remembering, but will share a few things.  A little background would be that Anny's parents live in Casper, and her brother's family drove out from Saint Louis.

Flights
Abby was incredible on all four of our flights to and from Casper!  We pulled out the stops, but it was worth it.  We had and used:
1 sucker
Many songs
Madagascar on my iPod
Several books

We made friends with everyone around us just to be safe, but Abby only even whined once that I can remember.  A funny note here is that on our flight into Casper, on a little jet, Abby was blissfully happy until the plane touched the ground.  It was then, and only then, that she fell asleep in my arms!  Too cute.

Weather!

The weather was absolutely incredible.  There was snow on the ground, of course, but we were outside every day in short sleeves playing on the swing set!  We had a few well intentioned snowball fights, but nobody got too hurt.  (Sorry again, Anny.  I love you and did not mean to cream you in the face with a ball made of snow.  Funny?  Yes.  Intentional?  Not exactly!)  Really the only time that I even wore a coat on our trip was the morning we went up ON the mountain.


Schedules
Our biggest challenge turned out to be schedules.  Abby is an Eastern Time girl, her cousins are Central Time girls and we were visiting the Mountain Time Zone.  Abby napped before her cousins and was awake way too early every day.  The grandparents were good sports about all of it and extremely accommodating to our craziness! 

FUN! 
The bottom line is that we had a blast and wish we could be together more often with that part of the family but indeed the miles are vast between us, for now at least.

Finally
Of course I took lots and lots of pictures and they are available HERE and HERE.

Once again I made a trip to Wyoming and saw FEET of snow on the ground but none fall from the sky.  As my Mother-In-Law said, that's okay!  It's that I was there to see the snow that matters!

Fuzzy Lines?

We had dinner this weekend with our friends Bryan and Charlene and their boys.  We go WAY back and I'm really glad that our youngin's get along so well.  Anyway, that's a lot of set-up for something that has little to do with their family...

At dinner Bryan again questioned one of my hard and fast rules about photography and my daughter.  Specifically - why is it that I refuse to take pictures (or have pictures taken of) Abby in the bath tub but yet I posted THIS picture of Abby in nothing more than a diaper and a candy heart-shaped box. 

First, let me explain my reasoning for the no-tub-pictures rule, and preface it by saying that I do not have a problem if other people take pictures of their children in the tub.  That's your decision and I'm genuinely not judging, but we have made a decision that we are comfortable with for our child.  Anny and I, mostly I, just don't see the purpose of the bath tub picture. 

• I have absolutely no intention of showing a naked picture to any future suitor.  (Isn't that why folks take them?)
  
• I don't have a desire to post a full on naked picture of her on the web.
• Bath time is a time when we play and really begin the winding down part of our evening, and camera time is often not.

I admit that I do see beauty in the human body, but maybe I have just fallen too much into the trap of assuming that it's only for show if the person is "of age," whatever that age is.  There is a picture or two from Abby's first bath, and to me every one after that is just a part of our routine.  I don't put up pictures of me putting her shoes on...

Last week's picture: I think that the picture that I posted last week was much more covering than a lot of others, and I guess that is the reason I have no problem with it.  All of the things that I think should be covered were covered. I guess that I also saw last week's picture as more art than Abby - I had been planning and plotting it for weeks, but it didn't happen until a bonus day off in February. 

So, to me the difference is that one is everyday and commonplace, and a bit more exposure than I care for.  The other was designed and set up and done purely for the sake of the picture, and had all of my daughters' diaper area covered.  (How is that for rationalization?)

Do you take pictures of your child(ren) in the tub?  Do you post them online?  Is there a reason you do or do not?

A Blog Interview

Saw Amy at PrettyBabies do this on her blog, and thought it was a great idea...


The Rules:
1. If you want to participate, leave me a comment saying, "Interview me." (And your e-mail address, please.)
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

The Questions Amy Asked Me:
1. What is your biggest fear?

I honestly fear every single day that Anny and Abby will get into a massive car wreck and I will be helplessly stuck in traffic.  The route they take home is major highway to major highway.  Anny is a wonderful and safe driver, so I have no basis for this fear, but it's there nonetheless.  I can't imagine a tomorrow without them.
2. Who is your hero?
This is a hard one.  My grandfather worked his way up through the ranks at NASA, then when it was time to retire he did it right.  He has always made family a priority and has been there for most of the major events in my life.  He drove here from his house to be with us on the day that Abby was born.  He didn't monopolize time with her or us, but just wanted to be a presence on that special day. 

3. If you could eat only one food forever, without regard for nutrition, what would it be?
I'm boring - it would be pizza.  I did that one summer when I decided that I was never going to fit into 34-inch-waist jeans again.  I then discovered just how bad that much potassium is for a person with kidney disease, so now it's more of a treat.  I still eat it, but certainly less than before.  There is so much variety of pizza, and I think that's why I love it.

4. If I gave you $100,000 to go on a trip, how would you spend it? Would you spend all your time in one place, or would you go to as many places as you could? Where? What would you do when you got there?
I can not imagine spending that much money on one place, at least not just for the three of us.  I would probably spend more of it on being sure that my family and friends could be with us wherever we went than on the place itself.  As for the place, I think that Disney is only a couple of years off for us, but I can't ride rides anymore.  I would probably feel more comfortable renting out a camp ground with lots of things to do and lots of places to relax.

5. What are your dreams for Abby's future?
I really just want her to be happy in whatever she is doing.  I want her to take that one "dream job" at some point in her life, even if it means that she'll pay for it later.  Of course, I want that dream job to be all that she dreams it to be, but I can't control that!  I don't think that she has to be a wife, or a college student, or full time employee to be happy.  I want to encourage her daily in whatever she chooses for her own life.  I have people like that in my life, but they are not necessarily my parents.

The bottom line is that I want Abby to know that no matter what she chooses to do, or not do, she is valuable. 

If you want me to come up with five questions for you, drop a comment or an email.  Amy sure does know how to come up with good questions...

It's Only a Word, Right?

Anny and I have been in conversation for about six years now about the use of a word.  Turns out that the dictionary supports both of us (Stupid Websters, won't pick a side!) so that was of no use. 

The word causing such great debate?  Cuddle.

You can imagine how many times the word "cuddle" gets used when you have the most adorable toddler in the world, so it drives one of us crazy when it is used in an alternative fashion.  I will not say which way I think is right and which side Anny falls on, so that I don't skew the results. 

So, using the poll feature on the right, please choose which of the following is correct in your opinion:

1. Abby's napping, so I'm going to go cuddle her.
2. Abby's napping, so I'm going to go cuddle with her.

I know that the only correct one would be "Abby's napping, leave her the heck alone," but that's not an option! 

So, please vote on the right.

Married to a Teacher: Back to School

It's that time of year again - Back to School.  The sales have been in major chain stores for about a month already, but mostly for the early colleges.  Today, though, marks Anny's first day of Staff Week at her school.  Fun.

This also means that Abby goes back to school today!  She took a little bit of coaxing to get out of sleepiness, but once she has some grub she was excited to be up!  I think she has my genes in that department.  Here's the girls this morning:



But, and there is almost always a but...

Now is also the time of big transition for our little household, and for many other households across the nation.  Now is the time that things have to be planned for and done differently.  Everything from laundry to house cleaning; from dinner to alarm clocks.

I can no longer assume that all of the poopy diapers will be changed by mama.  I can no longer look forward to empty laundry hampers when I get home from work. 

This year will be a harder transition for the house than in years past.  I think that individually each of us will just keep on doing our thing - Abby playing at school with her friends and us parent-types will do our jobs, hopefully well.  I think that the real change will be in how we operate together. 

Different from last year is that Abby is now a little person, not just an infant.  She has preferences, and lets you know what they are.  She even has shoes that have been deemed better than others!  (thank goodness, from my pespective!)

We have to try and guess if she will eat certain things, but we're not sure what will work until we do some trial and error.  During the summer it was easy - if she won't eat a quesadilla, give her a cheese stick.  We'll play a new guessing game for a while.

It's going to take a few weeks to get into a groove.  I wish I could say that we're used to this, but I think it's going to be a bit different this year.

St Louis Summary - a Quick Post

Okay, here's the rest of the St Louis Summary, because now it's long gone and not necessarily blog-worthy:

Abby got along wonderfully with her cousins. They played and interacted non-stop and loved every minute of it. Moreso, us parents loved how well it went!

We had a lunch with Paul and Sarahlynn and only Paul and Sarahlynn. The girls stayed home with Anny (and Paul)'s parents and we hit up a nice restaurant at 2 on a Friday afternoon. I highly recommend this to everyone and anyone - sitter for ALL of the kids and a double date. It was heaven.

So much has happened since then that I want to post about, so this is the summary post you get. Sorry.

My Thoughts, Bottled and Packaged for You

Anny asked me yesterday, very honestly:

"Do you just sit around and think this stuff up all day?"

She knows better! I was with her all day! There was very little "just sitting around" on Saturday when we helped to host a surprise birthday party for our friend Charlene. We did the farmers market, breakfast, and some cleaning house before leaving at 10:30 ish to get to their house. The only time for thinking was in the car, when we were talking.

(insert joke about Rob choosing between thinking and talking, and rarely doing both at the same time.)

So, what was she so baffled about? A picture concept in my head*.

As I've taken up the Project 365 Challenge over on our Flickr account (HERE). Project 365 is where you take a picture a day for a year. In our case, we're taking our 365 days of pictures of Abby. We have missed a couple of days already, but have made up for it in other days. Our project is the 365 days between Abby's First Birthday and her Second.

The real reason that I began the project is that I want to take better pictures of Abby, not just more pictures. (If I kept all of the pictures that I have taken in the last 13 months, there would be no room for any more on the three computers in our house) I was tired of taking the same picture over and over. Right now, Abby is still gaining toys like it's going out of style, but she's also gaining personality and style.

I've got a ton of ideas from other people, and scenes that are in my head for pictures of Abby. She's always game for a camera and I'm always game to take pictures. We're perfect for each other.

Feel free to pop by Abby's Project 365 anytime. I'll link to it on the sidebar starting today.

*The particular picture-idea I had just come up with was using all of her foam bath-time letters for a picture of "alphabet soup." I'll do it one evening when I think about it. My proble is that I think of them at odd times when I can't follow through....

Annnnnd POP!

On Sunday we went to church, as is the norm, and stayed for the picnic. The picnic was nice. We got to chat it up with a couple that has just added a second child to their clan, and she's quite a cutie. We like them, but never seem to get together outside of church. Must work on that, but that's another post for another day. Today's post is about what happened on our way out.

Pop.

Okay, more like POP!

As I was gathering our scraps to put in the trash can (one napkin and a bunch of fruit that our lovely daughter threw on the dirty ground) I stood up. I thought it was natural - the trash can is over there, I am here, I need to walk over there, I should stand up. Unfortunately, Abby had the same idea, that she should get up quickly.

Since I was planning to walk, and indeed making movements toward that same direction that Abby was lunging, I changed direction quickly and rolled my ankle over a tree root. I heard the aforementioned POP! and got a little woozy. (Anny later said that I lost all of the color in my face.) I laid on the ground a bit to get the sky to stop wobbling so much while at the same time talking with Eric (the dad of the family spoken of earlier) and generally trying to act like nothing happened.

While Anny went inside to get ice, I determined that I was fine. On the way home I was spoken to like a child, which is honestly the best thing in such a situation. I eliminated the ER from contention because it was not swollen, but that was not really making Anny happy. Our final verdict (mine) was to go home and ice my ankle.

And so I did. For five hours.

Having been to emergency rooms in various states around the country, I have learned a few things.
If you want great care, go to a remote place! (Casper, WY)
If you want fast care, don't go on a weekend - unless you're bleeding.
Some hospital systems do things right, some don't. (right is in Metro Pittsburgh, PA)
It's never going to be pleasant, so just grin and bear it.

Needless to say, we waited until Monday.

We headed a bit out of our way early Monday morning, but were in and out of the ER in about an hour and a half. (GO Howard General!) The staff was very friendly, and mostly helpful, or so I thought. I got to explain over and over, though, that I could not take Advil because of my kidneys, but it appears that "nephritis" gets buried in all of the paperwork of a chart. (BAD thing!)

The diagnosis was a "good sprain" of my left ankle. I was given crutches and a good ankle brace, which it turns out the nurse put on backwards and just wrong. Lucky for me, my brother just hurt his ankle last month and was able to get me figured out on Monday evening. I went to work today but made sure my foot was propped up. I was sure to leave a little early to get ice on it and try to beat the traffic a bit.

The hardest thing is that I'm having to play too hesitantly with Abby. Anny has been in charge of baths, which I one of my jobs, and it kills me. I know that in a few more days it will be back to fine and I'll be back to my normal roughhousing with the kid, but she does not get it. Oh well.

Married to a Institution Teacher

(Sorry for the silly title, I've been jealous of the strikethrough abuse over at Stark Raving Dads for a while and had to use it myself!)

The Summer officially begins tomorrow, but that is only according to the sun. According to our society it begins on Memorial Day, which is fine with me. According to my household, Summer began on Tuesday.

Summer is a different time of year, almost a different life, than the other nine months when you're in a relationship with a teacher. While your schedule stays the same they are able to sleep in and stay up late. They are able to lounge all day, or take a jaunt to have lunch with friends. You are stuck. In the same old grind. All. Day. Long.

There are many other things that are signs that the season has changed.

My office phone rings. Often.
When school is in session, Anny and I do not speak from the time she leaves for work until she is in the car on her way home. It's a bit weird, mostly because it ends up that I talk to my friend Bryan more than I talk to my wife some weeks. During the summer, though, I receive random calls throughout the entire day. First day out I got three. Thursday I received at least twice that many.

Things at home are relaxed.
With all of the extra time on her hands, Anny is much more relaxed in the evenings and that makes for a better day all around. It might have to do with the fact that there's more free time, but so far this summer week I believe that it is the extra mommy-daughter time. I love that they get this time together, but I'm honestly jealous.

Things in my head are mixed.
Again, I'm jealous of the extra time that the girls get to spend together. I might have to steal Abby to myself one of these weekend days and send Anny packing.

The hours during the school year are penance for the summers free. Do not ever tell a teacher that they have it easy because they have the summer off. With the amount of stress and (sometimes) horror of teaching, this is well earned.

But I wish it was my schedule too....

Yes, I Made Abby Watch

I did not make Abby stay up for the game, and honestly I missed most of it because of a meeting and sleep. Thanks to our new HD DVR, Abby and I watched the game this morning to watch the Red Wings win the Cup. I explained the Cup and the Conn Smythe (MVP) trophy.

Honestly, she was glued to the TV. I think that I am raising her right! Hopefully next season we will get to GO to a game during the finals...

Just a Little Weird

Got home from church yesterday and were greeted with a very nice surprise: a cut lawn. It appears that our neighbor needed to cut his lawn, and just popped right over the driveway and did a quick cut for us too! Very cool.

So, how do you thank a neighbor for such a selfless act?

Okay, so here's a wrench in the matter: how do you thank a neighbor for such a selfless act when that neighbor speaks a different language?

I don't believe that the father/husband speaks any English, but I know that mom/wife has been taking classes to learn. I do have some conversations with their seven year old daughter and her cousin. Is is apropriate to ask them to send thanks on my behalf? Is it better to write a thank you note, offering to do the same in return? If I do that, do I write it in English and then copy it into Spanish? (BTW - I do not speak or write Spanish very well either, but am sure that I could translate a short note)

Please let me know your thoughts. I'm at a loss...

A Question from a Friend

I was asked a tough question by a friend and wanted to seek your wisdom, oh great internet friends! Here's the question:

"how did you know you were ready to have a kid? i want kids, i'm just trying to make sure that now is the right time for them. how did you know you were ready to not have a life anymore (and you can't say you didn't have a life anyway).
my wife is ready. i'm just trying to make sure i'm mentally ready (not fiscally ready)"

Since I'm asking for your wisdom, I will share some of our story.

We talked about having children before we dated. We talked about it again before we married, and a bit after our wedding. When we went to visit Anny's brother and his wife one spring they shared with us that they were expecting! Great excitement for them, but it also made something click in Anny's head. We had more frank and honest discussions in the weeks that followed. I will not get into the tough stuff about getting from "trying" to "having" a baby in this post, but let's just say the Abby's cousin was almost four years old and had a sister by the time Abby rolled around.

Factors that we discussed in decision making:

Money: Honestly, this was always my first argument. It's expensive to have a child, moreso than we thought even. We cut back on some things and consolidated others.

Our Relationship: We were best friends before we began dating. We got closer then. By the time we were ready to add a third party to our party, we both wanted to be sure that we were solid with each other.

Time: We didn't ever spend a whole lot of time doing things that would be affected by a child. We don't do spontaneous trips to Niagara Falls or take lavish vacations. Our trips are almost always planned well in advance and involve a trip to see family.

Energy: We're not old, but I have a condition that makes me drained on occasion. This was a major concern for me in our discussions, and continues to be from time to time. I have had to learn to "fake" being awake, especially in the middle of the night. This is not an issue for most 30 year olds, but it's something that we had to consider.

What things did you have to come to terms with? What conversations did you have? What were heated parts of your decision process? Where did you decide to disagree but move on?

I think that my friend might be looking for reassurances that he would be a good father (which he would) but want to give him some food for thought. I'm not going to respond to him until after the holiday weekend, so please ask others to pop over here and share some wisdom.

I HATE Secrets

I know too much. It's not even that I know too much, really, I just know too much about one specific thing:

Mother's Day Gifts.

Yep. I have pre-shopped for Mother's Day. This means that I have several items that are stashed all over the place so that I don't ruin Anny's First MD.

Here is the reason that I'm a terrible gift giver. I can't keep gifts to myself. I never should have ordered things three weeks in advance. It will be really hard to keep things out of her hands for another six days.

The reason that I'm a great gift giver is that I am creative about it. I know what Anny wants, even before she does.

Take last years Anniversary Gift as an example. I gave her a nice necklace that goes with more outfits than she could have imagined. I could not leave it at that, when there was a nice pair of earrings to match. Solution? I know, grab the earrings for her "push present" in June. It's only a couple of months from March to June.

Nope. I gave her everything - all at once. When it came time for the big birth day in June I found myself just gently reminding her that she would get nothing to celebrate, as she had already gotten them months earlier.

So here I sit. Something in my bag. Something in my desk at work. Something in my night stand. Just hoping that I can keep myself together enough to not ruin her special day.

One guy I know has bought his wife a potted plant online. It arrived last week, so now he has to keep it watered enough not to die, but keep it hidden from the sun enough to not bloom too early. Wow. One rule I have is to not give live things if I have to keep them a surprise.

**So as to not give you mothers out there any ammunition against your significant other, while there are several gifts, they are all small and not expensive.