March 07, 2011

Making Friends is Hard to Do...

Okay, so maybe the blog title is a bit strong, but in my head it is sung to the tune of "Breaking Up is Hard to Do" by Neil Sedaka.

We have been here in Missouri for a while now. We have made several friends and sets of friends. We each have friends at work, and we have friends from church. We have Paul and Sarahlynn, obviously, they are the reason we moved here!

Anny and I are nice people and we really do make friends easily. But how we move folks from the "people we know who we are friendly with" to "let's hang out just because" people?

Our problem is pretty much the same as we have always had in the past - we do not like the idea of imposing or assuming for others that we know when it comes to making plans. We have invited folks over on occasion, but not often. We have not yet figured out who to invite to which kind of events, and how to invite (or get invites!) to things like parades or just hanging out.

We do have a non-scheduled but fairly-regular desert date at a local frozen yogurt that just opened in the last few months, Red Mango. Abby can not talk about that place without talking about calling Maggie to go with us! (Which also made for a funny Facebook status one time...)

I am at a loss. I am hopeful that it will be easier as the weather gets nicer and there is more sunlight at the end of the day. I love the three musketeers that are Abby, Anny and I, but I like to repeat my stories and I need new ears!

So how do adults make plans with other adults?!


  1. Sounds like you're overthinking! My motto, whether for dating or playdates, has always been, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." So just ask people, but remember not to take it personally if they say no, because everyone is busy. Of course, if they say no 3 times in a row, move on to someone else, unless they've asked you to do something with them in the meantime.

    Also, in the beginning, keep things low-key (like ice cream) and time limited... Just like getting coffee with a new girlfriend before you go out for a 7 course dinner. Playdates at someone else's house have a firm 2 hour time limit.

    It's actually a lot like dating. :)

  2. I totally understand where you're coming from. We've lived in our house for 2 years now, and are also not good at moving people from people we know to people we like and can just hang out with. I, too, don't like to impose, so while I'm being cautious of not overstepping any boundaries, life goes on around me and everyone else starts hanging out! *sigh*

  3. we're up for hanging out any time! ;)

  4. amy is so right, it is a lot like dating!!! personally, i don't like having strangers in my space or being in a strangers space. so i always suggest a public venue! especially for play dates.