First, I will come clean about one of the things that make me a horrible parent.
I don't want to tell you, but it's essential to the story. I know you will think less of me if you know the truth, but I am going to have to. It's time you know the truth.
Abby watches television.
Okay, so you can read it - Abby watches television. Daily.
We have a rotation that does not include Sesame Street, Yo Gabba Gabba or Wordgirl - you know, the educational stuff. Nope, we're not there right now. We have had our fair share of Signing Time, and watched Sesame Street for a few months, but we don't do that now. Now we have a healthy rotation that includes the fun part of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, (both versions of) The Parent Trap, Robots and princess movies. Lots and lots of princess movies.
I was at work when the princess movies began, so I can honestly say that it's not my fault. I might be inclined to go so far as to say that I was conspired against. It started with a little Shrek 2 on the DVR. Then it moved to Sleeping Beauty (minus the part deemed by Anny to be "too scary" at the end) and progressed to Snow White. All of these movies have a pretty set cast - prince, princess, fairy god mother, king, queen - we know them all so well.
I know the story of Princess Aurora (that's Sleeping Beauty) so well that I can tell you the order that her Fairy God Mother's put the kingdom to sleep. The advantage is that I know the song pretty well now, and when I whistle/sing/hum it, Abby goes all giddy and wants to twirl and dance. What dad does not love that?!
My beef really comes in when we're playing afterward, or just randomly talking. I have had at least a dozen conversations in the last two weeks that are pretty scripted at this point...
Abby: Daddy, I'm Princess Aurora!
Me: I know, sweetie - you dance beautifully.
Abby: Yes, because I'm a princess. Daddy, Mommy is Prince Phillip (or the Queen or a Fairy God Mother, depends on the day).
Me: Oh really? Does mommy know that?
Me: Well if you're Prince Aurora and Mommy is a Queen/FGM who am I?
Abby: Daddy, you're the horse.
There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Abby is a princess. Anny is a queen.
And I am a horse.
At least I'm not a horses ass. (Which is to say, at least she doesn't call me that. Yet.)