August 28, 2008

The Expectant Dog

Much is made about being prepared to be parents.  There are thousands of books for mom-to-be's, and good handful for dad-to-be's.  The reality is that it might be helpful for your family pet to have some good reading time. 

Cats are not welcome in my home, but the following can be adapted to most common family pets.  Might not work for a fish, because they are so low-key, but you get the point.

I submit for your dog's sake: The Expectant Dog, a letter to read to your pet about your future.

Dear Only-Child-Dog,
Our time together as a family of three has been wonderful, hasn't it?  I remember fondly our first walk in the park, the first time you woke me up way too early to be fed, and how you snuggled close to me in the storms.  Don't get me wrong, we'll still have fun together, but things are about to change.

Really, things have already begun to change.  You see, the lady of the house has a growing human-child inside.  This is great news for us as a family, I promise.  It does mean, though, that our relationship needs to change.  Here are some things to be aware of:
  • Since we have a fenced yard, there will be no more walks.  Not for a long time anyway.
  • The smell of the house will change, a lot.  Now you will smell poop indoors as well as outside!  
  • For a while all of our attention will be focused on this human-child.  Soon enough, though, attention will turn back to you.  Out of your own safety, but it will be attention.
  • You know how you like to eat right at 6 am and 6 pm?  That's going to change, too.  Heck, on occasion you will go to bed without food because I just plain forgot.  Sorry in advance.
  • When the human-child is older it will follow you around, and probably pull your tail, poke at your teeth and maybe even bite a little. Be a good dog and don't bite back.
You see, friend, change happens.  We are all learning a new way of life, and eventually everything will seem "normal" again because it will be the new normal.  Eventually the human-child will be exciting and nice and take you for walks again.  Hopefully you will still be up for walking then, too!

Your Friendly Owner


  1. So true! But Delaney and our dog Zoey have an excellent - EXCELLENT - relationship. Delaney holds onto her collar and "walks" her around the house, saying "Zoey is my dog; I love my dog." I think Zoey thinks - GET AWAY FROM ME, KID! But - the good news - she has started to feed Zoey her meals (on my direction), so that's a plus. Soon she'll be able to feed her every meal, and Zoey might actually get to eat twice a day!