It's funny that I worked at a retreat center/camp for so many years and I now dread going on retreats. I think that it's mostly based on the difference between my leading or being a participant.
I have not had many opportunities to be a participant over the years. That's not my personality, I guess. I can remember a retreat in New York City when I was a freshman in college that I participated really well at, but not many others.
My first Presbytery Youth Retreat I picked things up so quickly that I ended up leading a small group. I was supposed to be a participant only, but that changed.
The same was true of my first Synod-Wide Youth Retreat that I was to be a participant at. I ended up joining that committee within a month!
After having worked at Glenkirk/Meadowkirk for so much of my life, it's still hard for me to not pick up and help in the kitchen (though no help was needed/asked). I was still up really early, but stopped myself from going to the meeting room to "greet" everyone. Things have changed out there anyway, and I would not know what is what. The changes are great changes, but changes notheless.
Someday I think I want to go on a fulfilling retreat and be a participant again. It's nice to get away and not have responsibility for anything at all, just to sit back and learn. This retreat was not for that, it was a work retreat, but I hope to find something in the future.
Maybe I'll organize one for my church, but I bet I would be tapped to lead that one too!